A Farewell to Netflix

It’s always sad when a relationship ends after many years. Everybody has gone through it at some point, and it’s rarely a pleasant experience for those involved. 

It doesn’t necessarily mean that one side is to blame when a relationship ends. Sometimes it’s just a parting of the ways. It tends to be complicated, especially when emotions are involved. 

Last week I ended half of my decades long relationship with Netflix, and I’m a little sad about it. For the first time in almost 20 years, I will not be receiving DVDs in that now familiar red envelope. I kept the streaming end of our relationship open, but their DVDs are now a thing of the past for me.

I saved the final wrapper and will put it on display in the studio as a remembrance. Since moving to Wellman, I also saved all those little white things you peel off to reveal the sticky part of the envelope before returning it. Pretty sure I’m the only person to do that. That’s totally on me. 

Netflix tells me that I’ve been a member since 2005, but I question that. I actually think it started earlier than 2005. My DVD history is maxed out at 2,500, and I know I’ve gotten more discs than that. I’m thinking I’ve gotten close to 3,000 DVDs since I started the program.

The recorded history begins with the movie Finding Neverland. It says I rented it on 8/3/05 and returned it on 9/13/05, so you know that wasn’t me. That must have been someone else I was living with at the time. I went to great lengths to return my movies immediately. There were many times that I drove to the post office late at night to drop off discs, so they went out with the 6:00 AM mail as opposed to my mailbox that didn’t get picked up until early afternoon. All to maximize the number of rentals I got for my money. To no one’s surprise, I keep track of how much I pay per rental from Netflix. Proud to say that for the 11 years I’ve paid attention to that, I have paid an average of $1.67 per rental. I certainly made them work for their money. 

My last DVD rental was Clerks III: rented and returned on the same day earlier this month. I thought it was fitting to end with the final entry of Kevin Smith’s trilogy that prominently features a video store. Jay and Silent Bob not included. Interestingly enough I found both Clerks and Clerks II in my Netflix DVD history. Which is kind of odd since I own a copy of Clerks. Once I noticed that, I decided to look more closely at what was actually in that history.

As it turns out, several items were rented that I later purchased including The Conversation, Double Indemnity, The Lives of Others, Godzilla, Donnie Darko, Casablanca, and most of, if not all of, the Final Destination movies.

It was also fun looking through that history and seeing the themes represented when I used to watch my movies with a monthly theme for a few years. The algorithm was probably thinking, “What’s with this guy and water movies?!?” Who in their right mind would want to see Blue Crush?!?!

Looking at that history also got me thinking of a time when I lived with other people and shared the DVDs coming into the house. My girls were well represented, especially with their rentals of “One Tree Hill” Seasons 1-3 in 2007, and Season 4 rented in 2008. I’m sure they recall me pestering them to watch the discs and get them back in the mail in a timely manner.

At one point, I had four (4) discs out at a time! Later on I narrowed it down to three (3) and then to one (1) before finally stopping. I loved juggling those four discs. When I had it working right, I had a new DVD showing up every other day of the week.

Since these discs were going through the mail and I’m sure several sorting machines, sometimes things didn’t quite work out with the delivered product.

Forty-two (42) discs were delivered to me that were cracked or otherwise unplayable. Two discs showed up damaged TWICE! Merry Christmas (2006), and Into the Woods (1991).

Twenty-three (23) discs were lost either coming to me or headed back to them. Two discs were damaged and then lost! Alfred Hitchcock Presents S1:D1, and The Quiet Family (1998).

I only recall one instance when I did something wrong on my end of this relationship. I once put a movie back into its envelope and sealed it without putting the disc into its protective sleeve. That movie was Blood Feast, and I have that protective sleeve prominently displayed on a bulletin board. Of course, I do. I made a mistake in the podcast episode about the movie involved in this situation. I thought it was Roger Corman's A Bucket of Blood, but it was, in fact, the great Herschell Gordon Lewis's Blood Feast. I apologize to all artists involved.

I guess I should explain why I ended this relationship after so many happy years. This was not an “It’s not you, it’s me” breakup, this was a “It’s not me, it’s you” breakup. I currently have a watchlist of 1,555 movies. That’s 1,555 movies that are on various lists that I know I want to see. Exactly zero (0) of these movies are available on Netflix via DVD. Simply put, I’ve seen everything they have that I care to see.

It’s been great Netflix, or DVD.com, whatever you’d like to call yourself. It was fun, but it’s all done.

While I’m here, I wanted to do a little Oscar recap. To my surprise, there were actually nine (9) categories on which The Academy agreed with my vote! We were on the same page with Pinocchio for Best Animated Feature, and The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse for Best Animated Short. I was delighted to see we agreed on the Best Original Song being “Naatu Naatu” from RRR, and I hope that win translates into people seeking it out. We connected with Black Panther: Wakanda Forever for Best Costume Design, and I was so happy to see The Academy recognize Sarah Polley’s screenplay for Women Talking. They were especially right on that one. 

And then we were in agreement with four of the seven Oscars that went to Everything Everywhere All at Once. Those were Actress Michelle Yeoh, Supporting Actress Jamie Lee Curtis, Director “The Daniels”, and Film Editing. If you’re a movie fan and you haven’t seen it yet, do it. It’s a lot of chaotic fun, and seven Oscars puts it in pretty historical company. 

There were another four (4) categories where The Academy went with my second choice, which was also pleasing to me. I knew I was forfeiting a couple of categories due to my refusal to vote for Avatar: The Way of Water or Top Gun: Maverick for anything. I’ll stand by that decision.

That’s it for now from Cinema Wellman. Thanks, as always, for joining me. Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and Twitter to keep up with everything that’s going on in the world of Cinema Wellman.

I hope you’ll join us next week for an episode looking at the best and worst movies made from TV shows.

Until then…take care.