Cinema Wellman: April Screenings
Total Films Screened in April: 72
Current 2022 Total: 270
Current All-Time Total: 7,387
The Bottom 5
#5: The Cell (2000)
This was on the list because of a Best Makeup Oscar™ nomination. Now I can never "makeup" the 107 minutes of my life I spent watching it. A social worker with experimental technology (happens every day) teams with an F.B.I. agent to enter the mind of a serial killer. Packed with bizarre visuals including a horse cut into segments suspended in glass cases. Nobody needs to see that. Or this movie.
#4: Teacher's Pet (1958)
I admit that I've become savage condemning movies from the 50s for some of their shit because I'm watching them with my 2022 eyes. I won't apologize for it, nor will I stop. Much of this is misogynistic and sexist in one way or another. Poor Mamie Van Doren is once again just there for the male gaze. I've never liked Clark Gable, and he gives me no reason to like him after this mess. He was miscast in this. Way too old for the part. Both Carey Grant and James Stewart turned down the part because they thought they were too old. Gable took the part and he was OLDER than both of them. Filmed in black and white in an attempt to hide Gable's age and weight. The movie never recovers from this since he has zero chemistry with co-star Doris Day.
#3: Choose or Die (2022)
This one was TOTALLY on me! I watched this late one night because I thought the premise sounded interesting. A kid fires up an old 80s survival computer game and unleashes a shitshow. This made me think of school and when I taught 8th graders every day. Watching this movie made me think of my former students because it seemed like one of my C- students wrote the screenplay for this garbage. No wonder Netflix is in trouble if it's churning out things like Choose or Die. Cake or death?
#2: Here Come the Waves (1944)
From IMDb: "Show business twin sisters Rosemary and Susie, one serious and the other a scatterbrain, join the WAVES and both fall in love with crooner Johnny Cabot." Strike 1: War time musicals that were thinly veiled propaganda. Strike 2: Bing Crosby. Strike 3: And this was a clincher.....Bing Crosby doing a number in blackface. Nope. That'll get you Bottom 5 almost every time. I don't care when you made your movie. That's just unacceptable. Next!
#1: Othello (1965)
Wait, isn't Othello Shakespeare's Moorish general? And who is playing him? Laurence Olivier?!?! Great actor for Shakespeare, I'm sure. Not such a great pick to play a black character since he's, you know, WHITE. This was so hard to watch for this reason alone. I kept thinking of black actors working at the time that they could have gotten to play Othello. Was Paul Robeson available? Did Sidney Poitier not do Shakespeare? What about James Earl Jones? I just watched a documentary this week that may make the Top 10 for May titled Yellowface: Asian Whitewashing and Racism in Hollywood. What an embarrassing history of racism and marginalizing of minorities of all types in Hollywood's history. No excuse for it. I'm talking to you, Mickey Rooney!
The Top 10
#10: Educating Peter (1992)
This was a sweet Oscar winning short documentary that I watched on hoopla (join TODAY if you haven't already done so - join hoopla AND kanopy!). This film follows a young student (Peter) with Down Syndrome as he attends a regular school. As a former teacher, I really enjoyed seeing how his teacher and classmates worked with Peter to include him in everything and show him that he belonged. The honesty of his classmates in interviews was also refreshing. They're kids. Some of them said they were initially "afraid" of Peter because he was physical or loud at times. At the end, one of the boys said that he was glad he gave Peter a chance and got to know him since they became best friends. A very positive 30 minutes. We could all use more of that.
#9: Guard Dog (2004)
You don't see many 5 minute animated movies rated R, but here is one of them. And it totally earns it. This guard dog does everything, and I mean everything, in order to protect his master. Really violent, and savagely funny.
#8: Murder on a Sunday Morning (2001)
"Oscar-wining documentary that documents a murder trial in which a 15 year old African-American is wrongfully accused of a 2000 murder in Jacksonville, Florida." - IMDb
A woman is shot to death in front of her husband and, 90 minutes later, the wrong person is arrested. It's hard to watch at times since the mistakes made by investigators, along with a bad ID from the husband sends the case to trial. This boy was innocent, and what he and his family had to endure shouldn't happen to anyone, yet it happens to people in this country every single day.
#7: 420: The Documentary (2013)
I watched this as part of my 420 celebration, and it was pretty eye opening. First of all, it's totally serious. There's nothing silly, goofy, or funny about it. It touches on several aspects of how cannabis was targeted by the government and classified as a Class 1 substance along with extremely harmful and addictive drugs.
This documentary also explains how "420" came to stand for everything cannabis, and it's probably not what you think! That was actually a funny story. So this wasn't totally serious after all.
#6: Deconstructing Harry (1997)
I know Woody Allen is a pariah now because of his personal behavior. I know I probably shouldn't include him in a Top 10 of anything (unless it's "Top 10 Worst Dads"), but I have to admit this was funny. Comedy is extremely difficult. It's a genre that I rarely recommend to anyone since comedy is so personal. I watch a lot of comedies, but they rarely make me laugh out loud. I must be a tough audience. This did make me laugh out loud a few times, and the cast (usual for an Allen film) is tremendous. Fellatio at a funeral is funny, right?
#5: Curse of the Golden Flower (2006)
This was nominated for Best Costume Design, so that's what I concentrated on. I was not disappointed. Amazing facts about some of these intricate costumes. Some of them weighed over 80 pounds! One of the gowns was handcrafted by 40 people who took over two months to create it! An actress wore a tiara that weighed 12 pounds! That, and they used more than 1000 real soldiers to film a battle scene that took 20 days to shoot. All of this was on a grand scale.
#4: Whale Rider (2002)
I do not know that much about the Maori people or their culture, and this was a beautiful introduction to a strong and passionate group of people. This is a family movie with a strong message of love and triumph. This was Keisha Castle-Hughes' first role and it earned her an Oscar nomination for Best Actress as a 12 year old! Well done! That, and....whales! Whales are cool!
#3: The Batman (2022)
I often complain about "Comic Book Movies" and yet I watch them anyway. My solution to watching is paying very little attention to the story, which I'm sure infuriates a lot of fans of this genre. That being said, this was a really good movie. I was NOT sold on Robert Pattinson as Bruce Wayne. I'm sure it was the Twilight stigma haunting him in my mind. But lately I've seen him in films like The Lost City of Z and The Lighthouse in which he delivered compelling performances. He does a wonderful job here, as does the supporting cast. I may be from the generation weaned on the campy Adam West Batman, but those days are gone. Although I'd love to see someone try that again. Wouldn't that be fun?!
#2: Starsky & Hutch (2004)
Hear me out!!! First of all, I was a huge fan of the TV show. I bought that shit hook, line, and sinker! Undercover cops with a great buddy/opposite relationship going, a great car (Red & White Ford Gran Torino), a street-wise, ethically ambiguous informant named Huggy Bear...what's not to like? Side note: Huggy Bear was played by actor Antonio Fargas. Andrew and I saw Mr. Fargas at a nightclub once and kept yelling, "Huggy!" He loved us.
I screened this as part of my April 20th celebration, so there's that, but this was actually funny. I have no problem with Owen Wilson or Ben Stiller, and Snoop Dog as Huggy was perfect! It was extremely loyal to the source material and David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser (the original Starsky & Hutch) even show up at the end. Vince Vaughn is the bad guy, and Juliette Lewis is his girlfriend. I love her. I want her in more movies.
This was just a smile.
#1: Apollo 10 1/2: A Space Age Childhood (2022)
Director Richard Linklater is from Houston. This is definitely a love letter to his hometown. Linklater is only two years older than me, so I tend to pay attention when he honors the time in which he grew up. Dazed and Confused is an all-time favorite of mine. Even though it takes place in Austin, TX, and I grew up in Vails Gate, NY, we were all kind of the same.
This animated film is a coming of age story set in Houston during the summer of 1969. The summer of the moon landing. I don't want to share anything else about it because you should see it yourself. Especially if you're near my age. Some of the pop culture references in this made me smile wide and shed a nostalgic tear or two.
Coming Soon (I promise!): As I try to turn this into a podcast/blog...A new series chronicling my "Top Ten Movie Experiences," along with "Cinematic Portmanteaus," and, of course, the Cinema Wellman Project continues with "Cinema Wellman: May Screenings."
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