Cinema Wellman's Wayback Machine:
Our Top 10/Bottom 5 of 1976
Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host David, and today we’re going to hop into the Wayback Machine and go back a half century to present our Top 10 and Bottom 5 of 1976.
I remember 1976 quite vividly which is interesting because I don’t remember much about what I did yesterday.
In 1976 I was 14 years old and in 8th grade at Sacred Heart School in Newburgh, NY, I had a crush on Rose Scully, and, little did I know it, I was in the midst of a pretty amazing year in film.
Maybe I didn’t realize that because I was paying so much attention to Rosie.
Half of these movies are rated R, and I know I didn’t have access to R rated films at the age of 14 (That sounds so silly today!!!! Think of how that has changed!)
I say this because I don’t mean to suggest that I was screening all of these films as an 8th grader, which would have made me a way cooler 8th grader than I actually was.
I had always thought my first R-rated movie in the theater was Animal House, but I did some research and found out that I was 16 when that happened.
And then I looked up the release date of The Fury, and I had my answer.
Released on March 10, 1978, The Fury was a psychological thriller with all sorts of “adult” elements including body horror, blood, and I believe even some nudity.
My friend Donny’s older sister Mary brought Donny and I (both 15 at the time) to see The Fury thinking it was a Western.
Mary was very surprised.
Donny said the movie could have used a little more nudity.
I got more access to R rated content when my family got HBO and our first VCR in quick succession.
Jean and Ray had created a monster.
Fifteen movies for you today, many of which have appeared on our show previously. (Best & Worst of the month episodes, Cult Movie episodes, etc.)
We’re going to start where we always do, which is at the bottom of the barrel.
In this instance, it’s a 50-year-old barrel, so hold your nose.
Bottom 5 of 1976
The Song Remains the Same
PG/137 m/IMDb: 7.6/directed by Peter Clifton & Joe Massot
IMDb: “The pioneers of hard rock take the stage - and blow your mind. Led Zeppelin strom Madison Square Garden in this collection of footage taken from their legendary performances at the New York venue in 1973.” Available on: Amazon Prime ($)
We already panned The Song Remains the Same during our “Led Zeppelin Goes to the Movies” episode, so I won’t pile on much more, but…
I do want to reiterate that I absolutely LOVE this band and I LOVE the concert footage in this movie!
It’s the non-concert nonsense that drove me off the deep end.
Jimmy Page on the shores of Loch Ness in a house formerly owned by the English occultist Aleistar Crowley?
Please.
John Bonham laughed out loud when he saw that sequence at a screening.
Robert Plant at a castle in Wales with a wizard?
Or was he the wizard? I honestly forget.
And Bonham as a gangster from the 40s?
Yikes!
Just skip all that and watch the concert footage instead.
I do love that the concert footage was shot over three nights, and the band was instructed to wear the same thing every night for the film to appear as if it was shot at one show.
They all did, except for John Paul Jones, which set up some pretty interesting continuity mistakes when the shows were edited together.
Next a movie that had me asking, “Who asked for this?!”
Bugsy Malone
G/93 m/IMDb: 6.8/directed by Alan Parker
Oscar Nominee: Best Music (Paul Williams - we love Paul Williams!)
IMDb: “The classic gangster story of Bugsy Malone told with an all-child cast.” Available on: kanopy
Yes.
You heard that correctly.
The classic gangster story of Bugsy Malone with an all-child cast.
Directed by Alan Parker.
So the man who directed Midnight Express, Pink Floyd: The Wall, Angel Heart, and Mississippi Burning also directed a gangster movie with a cast of kids.
One of the stars is Scott Baio, and I have no use for Scott Baio.
Garry Marshall cast Baio as Chachi in “Happy Days” after seeing him in this movie.
I have no use for Chachi either.
I don’t know who this was made for, or why it was made.
I do know that over 1,000 cream pies were thrown during its 93 minute run time, and that’s reason enough to stay away, and also a reason why it’s on this Bottom 5.
Another of the stars of this mess was Jodie Foster, but we’ll talk about her later.
Scorchy
R/99 m/IMDb: 4.8/directed by Howard Avedis
IMDb: “Seattle undercover narc Jakie Parker is out to bust the drug smuggling ring commanded by Phillip Bianco.” Available on: Amazon Prime
Connie Stevens is hopelessly miscast in this so-called “French Connection with a female protagonist.”
I can’t take Connie Stevens seriously as an undercover narc, especially since no one bothered to show her how to hold or fire a gun on this production.
I can’t even take Connie Stevens seriously in a 60s beach movie.
If you glance at her filmography, you can see why.
Stevens is never even called “Scorchy” at any point in this movie, nor is she referred to as being “scorchy,” so what’s your point, title?
The poster’s tag line was; “She’s killed a man, been shot at, and made love twice already this evening…and the evening isn’t over yet!”
Yuck.
Not Connie’s fault, by any means. This is something Pam Grier did all the time, and did extremely well.
No reason to bring Connie Stevens into it. There is nothing badass about Connie Stevens.
So that wasn’t Connie’s fault, and the next one wasn’t Cindy’s fault!
The First Nudie Musical
R/97 m/IMDb: 5.4/directed by Mark Haggard & Bruce Kimmel
IMDb: “The heir to a bankrupt studio decides to make a daring musical to avoid demolition, agreeing to finish it in two weeks or lose ownership.” Available on: Plex & Tubi: Featured in Danny Peary’s “Cult Movies 2”
I don’t need to tell you much about this because it won’t take much evidence to convict this criminal attempt at a comedy.
Let’s start with some dialogue; “I won’t do this scene until those damned dancing dildoes know their steps! I’m an actress!” ~ Mary La Rue
This is what happens when you parody porno movies and old-time musicals in the same movie.
Does it work?
It does not.
It was made in 18 days for about $130,000 and it took the screenwriter a week to write the script.
What do I always say in these situations? It shows.
I wonder how much of that $130k went to those dancing dildoes…those you should see, actually.
That leaves us with one more awful movie to mention before we move on to our Top 10, and I KNOW I didn’t screen this one anywhere close to 1976 because it made a worst of the month list on this very show!
A*P*E
PG/86 m/IMDb: 2.6/directed by Paul Leder
IMDb: “A newly discovered 36-foot gorilla escapes from a freighter off the coast of Korea. At the same time an American actress is filming a movie in the country. Chaos ensues as the ape kidnaps her and rampages through Seoul.” Available on: Plex
My second favorite thing about this absolute disaster is that producers rushed this King Kong Kopykat to theaters to capitalize on the box office success of Dino De Laurentis' King Kong (released earlier in ‘76).
Problem was, THAT movie was ALSO a critical and box-office disaster!
Poor Joanna Kerns made her film debut in this in the part of Jessica Lange’s King Kong character (they even stole some of her dialogue!).
The effects budget for this “film” was $1,200. Say it with me ....”It shows!”
Kerns debuted under the name Joanna DeVarona (her birth name - sister is former Olympic gold medalist swimmer Donna DeVarona), and quite possibly changed her name to distance her from this monkeyshit show.
My favorite part of this mess was when the title character is knocking down toy helicopters.
He smashes one into the side of a papier mache cliff where it explodes.
A*P*E then turns to the camera, breaks the 4th wall, and gives us the finger.
I returned the finger.
You may be familiar with the “Razzie Awards” which are given every year (starting in 1980) to “honor” the worst movies made in that year.
The Razzies didn’t start until four years after A*P*E was made, but they STILL chose to feature it on their “Official Razzie Movie Guide!”
That’s how bad it is!
Okay, enough of that rubbish, let’s get to the good stuff.
Top 10 of 1976
Our Top 10 features 3 dramas, 2 comedies, 1 thriller, 1 western, 1 horror, 1 sci-fi, and 1 action movie.
Five are rated PG, five are rated R.
Four of them appear in my cult movies books, four of them appear in my “Must See” movies book.
Our Top 10 earned a total of 28 Oscar nominations, winning 8 Oscars plus a “Special Achievement Award” Oscar in a category that was yet to be created.
We’re going to begin with our western.
The Outlaw Josey Wales
PG/135 m/IMDb: 7.8/directed by Clint Eastwood
IMDb: “Avenging his murdered family, a Missouri farmer hunts down brutal Union soldiers.” Available on: Amazon Prime ($): Featured in Bounty Books “501 Must-See Movies” and Jennifer Eiss’ “500 Essential Cult Movies,” and Danny Peary’s “Cult Movies 2”
Partially filmed in Kanab, UT! We love you, Kanab!
The “Golden Age” of the western as a genre was the 50s. At one point during the 1959 television season, there were over 30 western shows on network TV!
And there were only THREE NETWORKS!
In any event, the western seemed to be losing steam as a popular genre, with obvious exceptions, of course, but I certainly didn’t grow up in an era “loaded” with westerns.
Clint Eastwood is responsible for bringing the non-spaghetti western back as a genre with movies like Hang ‘Em High, Joe Kidd, High Plains Drifter, and this film.
So, we’d certainly seen Eastwood in westerns, but The Outlaw Josey Wales was a different kind of western.
Eastwood made a film with timeless themes so you could like it even if you weren’t a fan of westerns.
The film was praised by Native American groups for its non-stereotypical portrayal of Native Americans.
It also focused on the guerilla wars between the Union and Confederacy, which was different, as was making our hero a member of the Confederacy.
My research uncovered even more things that I personally dislike about Clint Eastwood, but you cannot deny his impact on film history both in front of, and behind the camera.
“501 Must-See Movies” called it “A tender film despite the violence, necessary in this picture of a harsh existence.”
Car Wash
PG/97 m/IMDb: 6.2/directed by Michael Schultz
IMDb: “A comedic take on the daily life of car-wash employees, chronicling their hopes, fears, joys, dreams, tribulations, and meeting some eccentric customers along the way.” Available on: Amazon Prime ($)
Car Wash takes place over the course of a 10 hour period in one day.
I love when movies do this. Two of my favorite examples are American Graffiti and Dazed and Confused.
The cast is tremendous and features Antonio “Huggy Bear” Fargas, Bill Duke, Ivan Dixon, Franklin Ajaye, Garrett Morris, and Otis Day along with Richard Pryor and George Carlin in small roles.
And Pepe Serna! I love Pepe Serna, and this was the first time I remember seeing him in a movie!
This is a funny mid-70s comedy with a tremendous soundtrack that I was drawn to because of the characters along with the fact that HBO must have run it at some point because it was constantly on my TV.
Wait, Joel Schumacher wrote this?!
Logan’s Run
PG/119 m/IMDb: 6.8/directed by Michael Anderson
IMDb: “A police officer in the future uncovers the deadly secret behind a society that worships youth.” Available on: hoopla, Tubi & Plex: Featured in Jennifer Eiss’ “500 Essential Cult Movies”
A society that worships youth?! Imagine that! I wonder what that’s like.
Logan’s Run is a cult film based on a novel by David Z. Goodman that explores what to do with people in your society who are over 21.
The film raised that age to 30 because a cast made up of under 21s would be difficult to assemble, not to mention control.
The sets are wild, the effects are practical, Roscoe Lee Brown is a robot in a box, and the costumes for many of the female characters are virtually non-existent.
There is more side-boob and see through tops in this film than any other PG film in history!
I made that up, but quite possibly true.
Poor Jenny Agutter. I’ve read in more than a couple interviews with her that she won’t attend any Comic-Con type things because she’s afraid of how many people she’d run into dressed like her character.
Initial costume designs were apparently quite a bit more scandalous (not sure how that’s possible), but the production realized they’d have to blow the budget on body make-up for all that skin.
Amazing.
Are Jenny Agutter and the costume department responsible for Logan’s Run being on this Top 10 List?!?!
10%
Assault on Precinct 13
R/91 m/IMDb: 7.3/directed by John Carpenter
IMDb: “A highway patrol officer, two criminals, and a station secretary defend a defunct Los Angeles precinct office against a siege by a bloodthirsty street gang.” Available on: kanopy & Amazon Prime: Featured in Jennifer Eiss’ “500 Essential Cult Movies”
We love John Carpenter, and we love him mostly for his horror films (Halloween, The Fog, The Thing, Christine), but Assault on Precinct 13 proves he’s just as strong directing a suspenseful crime thriller.
With a few horror undertones, of course.
The street gang seems like an unbeatable force of supernatural beings, so it makes sense they were inspired by George Romero’s zombies in Night of the Living Dead.
Carpenter has stated that this was the most fun he had as a director, and I can see why.
He also wrote the music, of course, and based the theme on a mix between the Dirty Harry theme and Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song,” and that makes total sense if you’re aware of those two pieces.
This movie features a child being shot at an ice cream truck.
Just to set the tone a bit.
Kim Richards: “I wanted vanilla twist!” We love Kim Richards! Always have, always will!
I remember watching this spread out over two afternoons of the “4:30 Movie” on WABC-NY and whoever edited it for television (difficult task for this film!) let an “asshole” sneak through, which made me chuckle.
Next up is a movie that did for dentists what JAWS did for beaches a year before.
Speaking of JAWS, I wanted to mention that I thought of this project last year, and I almost did the Top 10/Bottom 5 of 1975 last summer, but how many more times can I tell you about JAWS?!
Now, back to the dentist movie.
A Nazi dentist movie. You think your dentist is bad, get a load of Larry.
Marathon Man
R/125 m/IMDb: 7.4/directed by John Schlesinger
IMDb: “After the murder of his older brother, a New York history student is hounded by shadowy government agents on the trail of a Nazi war criminal who is trying to retrieve smuggled diamonds.” Available on: kanopy & Paramount+
Marathon Man is famous for its dental torture scene involving Sir Laurence Olivier and Dustin Hoffman.
It’s 50 years old, and it’s still hard to watch, even by today’s standards.
Dental torture aside, this is a suspenseful cat and mouse thriller that will have you wondering…
“Is it safe?”
Carrie
R/98 m/IMDb: 7.4/directed by Brian De Palma
IMDb: “Carrie White, a shy, friendless teenage girl who is sheltered by her domineering, religious mother, unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated by her classmates at her senior prom.” Available on: kanopy & Pluto: Featured in Bounty Books “501 Must-See Movies” who describes it as “Emotionally powerful horror.”
For me, Carrie is one of those “HBO movies” of my youth (like many on this list), and I feel like I’ve seen it a hundred times.
I can’t remember the last time I watched it, but the first time I watched it the end scared me so much I slept with the lights on that night. If I slept at all.
Sissy Spacek is tremendous, and Piper Laurie is batshit crazy as her abusive mother.
Since her role was so over the top, Laurie was convinced she was in a black comedy.
I love reading about iconic performances that the performer didn’t quite get while they were delivering it. (I see you Sam Elliot in The Big Lebowski)
“501 Must-See Movies” says “Carrie’s mother is an oppressive presence, refusing Carrie privacy and preventing her from taking part in the normal activities of a teenage girl. She has inadvertently raised a disaffected, nervous daughter who is no more able to understand relationships than she is her strange powers.”
Sissy Spacek slept in her blood-soaked prom dress for three straight nights to preserve continuity.
She was also buried alive for the finale.
We love Carrie, we love Sissy Spacek!
Next up is a movie that is my “Sibling Favorite” with my sister Vanessa. This is OUR all-time favorite movie.
Murder By Death
PG/95 m/IMDb: 7.2/directed by Robert Moore
IMDb: “Five famous literary detective characters and their sidekicks are invited to a bizarre mansion to solve an even stranger mystery.” Available on: Amazon Prime ($)
I’m always going on and on about casts in movies but get a load of this. The cast of this film has combined for:
23 Emmy nominations & 13 Emmy wins
43 Golden Globe nominations & 8 Golden Globe wins
21 Oscar nominations & 4 Oscar wins
How on earth do you assemble all of that talent in one room?
The doorbell is a scream, and it’s Fay Wray’s from the O.G. King Kong.
Production design spent over $25 million on the furnishings for the mansion. I’m sure there’s a gramophone there somewhere.
This may not be on anyone else’s Top 10 of 1976, but it’s here because I love it, I love my sister, and let’s segue to Taxi Driver
Taxi Driver
R/114 m/IMDb: 8.2/directed by Martin Scorsese
IMDb: “A mentally unstable veteran works as a nighttime taxi driver in New York City, where the perceived decadence and sleaze fuels his urge for violent action.” Available on: Amazon Prime ($): Featured in Bounty Books “501 Must-See Movies,” Jennifer Eiss’ “500 Essential Cult Movies,” and Danny Peary’s “Cult Movies 2”
“I’m getting some bad ideas in my head.” ~Travis Bickle
I wanted to begin with that quote from Travis before I share some excerpts from some of the movie books I have regarding Taxi Driver.
“501 Must-See Movies” says “Taxi Driver was, and still is, a seminal work that maintains a position of great importance in cinematic history. It’s a character study unrivaled since and shows an actor at his peak and screenwriting and directing at their very best.”
“Travis Bickle flaunts his frustrated isolation like a fallen good samaritan, inflicting his loneliness on those around him in the shape of unwanted attention and overzealous help.”
Jennifer Eiss adds “A blistering portrayal of loneliness and alienation, and how an inability to communicate with or relate to one’s peers can easily translate into violence.”
Premiere Magazine (we miss you!!) named this one of the “25 Most Dangerous Movies” of all-time.
Bernard Herrmann died the day he completed the score for this film. Herrmann’s career began with Citizen Kane in 1941 and ended with Taxi Driver in 1976. Amazing!
Because of an ongoing sanitation strike at the time of production, the garbage you see is real! The filth and the trash are not added!
Robert De Niro worked 15-hour shifts driving a cab in NYC in order to prepare for this role, and he stayed in character during the entire production.
Jodi Foster was 12 when she made this but check out the films she made that were released in 1976; Bugsy Malone, Taxi Driver, Freaky Friday, and The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane.
And don’t forget to look for director Martin Scorsese’s cameo as one of Travis’ fares.
“That you should see!”
Next up is the movie about what I watched every day after school when I was in 5th grade!
All the President’s Men
PG/138 m/IMDb: 7.9/directed by Alan J. Pakula
IMDb: “Reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein of ‘The Washington Post’ uncover the details of the Watergate scandal that leads to President Richard Nixon’s resignation.” Available on: Amazon Prime ($): Featured in Bounty Books “501 Must-See Movies”
This film, and what it is based on, had a profound impact on me as a young person.
It showed me I should be wary of my government and those in charge, which has absolutely continued into my adulthood, and it also taught me to appreciate the power of journalism.
Sadly, I have little faith in my government or the media these days, but I know that good journalism still exists; it’s just getting harder and harder to find.
I watched the Watergate hearings and was mesmerized by them. It was truly “Must See TV” about two decades before that was a thing.
“501 Must-See Movies” says All the President’s Men is “A film that charts the perseverance and doggedness of the reporters, to try and discover the truth, despite the many obstacles placed in their path.”
“Hoffman and Redford are both at the peak of their talents here, working off one another to produce an exciting, highly charged race against time, as they try not only to ensure they collect enough evidence to break the story, but that another newspaper doesn’t get there before them.”
Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman memorized each other’s lines as well as their own so they could interrupt each other in character and make things seem more authentic.
Robert Redford stayed at the Watergate Hotel during filming. You just can’t make that up.
Jane Alexander was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar even though she was only onscreen for 5 minutes and 9 seconds.
Beatrice Straight is about to say, “Hold my beer.”
Network
R/121 m/IMDb: 8.1/directed by Sidney Lumet
IMDb: “A television network cynically exploits a deranged former anchor’s ravings and revelations about mass media for its own profit but finds that his message may be difficult to control.” Available on: Amazon Prime ($)
Jane Alexander was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar even though she was only onscreen for 5 minutes and 9 seconds, and…
Beatrice Straight in Network was nominated for, and WON, the Best Supporting Actress Oscar with just 5 minutes and 2 seconds of screen time!
Screenwriter Paddy Chayefsky’s story about the media is so prescient, it’s actually frightening.
It’s as if Chayefsky knew exactly what was going to happen to television.
And, sad to say, he didn’t miss by much at all.
Director Sidney Lumet was pissed that Network lost the Best Picture Oscar to Rocky, and I’m with Sid 100%.
While we’re talking Oscar, I’d like to do a quick rundown of some of the major categories and these films’ impact on the cinematic year of 1976:
Best Actor: won, posthumously, by Peter Finch for Network - William Holden was also nominated for Network as was Robert De Niro for Taxi Driver
Best Supporting Actor: won by Jason Robards for All the President’s Men - Ned Beatty was nominated for Network as was Sir Laurence Olivier for Marathon Man
Best Actress: won by Faye Dunaway for Network - Sissy Spacek was nominated for Carrie
Best Supporting Actress: won by Beatrice Straight for Network - Jane Alexander (All the President’s Men), Jodie Foster (Taxi Driver), and Piper Laurie (Carrie) were also nominated
Art Direction/Set Decoration: won by All the President’s Men - Logan’s Run was also nominated
Sound: won by All the President’s Men
Adapted Screenplay: won by All the President’s Men
Original Screenplay: won by Network
Special Achievement Award for Visual Effects went to Logan’s Run - this was before the Oscar category for Visual Effects was created
And now the misses!
Cinematography: won by Bound for Glory - Network and Logan’s Run were also nominated
Film Editing: won by Rocky (sorry, not a fan) - All the President’s Men and Network were also nominated
Original Score: won by The Omen - also nominated were Bernard Herrmann for Taxi Driver and Jerry Fielding for The Outlaw Josey Wales
Director: John G. Avildsen won for Rocky - Sidney Lumet was nominated for Network as was Alan J. Pakula for All the President’s Men
Best Picture: won by Rocky - beating out Taxi Driver, All the President’s Men, and Network which has to be one of the worst missed opportunities in Oscar history.
That’s just awful.
Well, that is a wrap from here at Cinema Wellman as we went back in time to celebrate our Top 10 and Bottom 5 from 1976.
We will be doing this every season going forward, and you should be happy I didn’t start this last year (when I thought of it) so you were spared more JAWS talk.
Speaking of sharks, we hope you’re with us next time for Cinema Wellman’s 2nd Annual Shark Week!
I watched ALL of the Sharknado movies and can honestly look you in the eye and say... I’ve seen worse. I’ve seen a lot worse.
Until then, take care.
