June’s Best & Worst
Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host David, and June is in the rear view and 2026 is half over and time flies and I’m getting old, and I’m trying not to think about it and let’s talk about movies.
Only seven for you today, only ONE of which was a bomb, so June wasn’t too bad of a cinematic month here at Wellman.
Let’s begin today by thinking about what makes you want to watch a movie. Is it the premise, the genre, the director, the stars?
There’s no wrong answer here because I personally think you should watch every movie you are ever even interested in watching, period.
And I’m only asking that question because I love Jill St. John, and she led me astray for once.
Honeymoon Hotel (1964)
AP/89 m/IMDb: 5.1/directed by Henry Levin
IMDb: “A man’s fiancé leaves him at the altar. His friend persuades him to use his honeymoon reservation at a couples only Boca Raton resort anyway.”
I don’t necessarily think she’s a great actress, but I absolutely love Jill St. John and think she’s worthy of her nickname, “Magic.”
Jill St. John is the ONLY reason I watched this movie and boy did they not know what to do with Jill St. John.
I hated this movie because of how women were treated, not only my friend.
The female characters in this movie were all stereotypically terrible cookie-cutter/paint by numbers characters.
There aren’t many choices on the menu if you are female.
If you are female in Honeymoon Hotel, you will be one of the following:
*Shrew
*Battle-axe
*Manipulative & Deceitful
*Brainless Idiot
That’s what makes this film so insulting, and I’m not even going to delve into how creepy Bob Goulet’s character is. Yuck.
Jill St. John’s character is completely brainless and spends most of the movie in next to nothing while doing things like walking into glass doors.
It was sad to see Jill put through that. I hope she was well compensated.
The positive thing about Honeymoon Hotel is that it was the only film on the Worst List this month, so good for us.
Now a half dozen films we actually think are worth a look, starting with a bleak Finnish rom com of all things.
Ariel (1988)
NR/72 m/IMDb: 7.4/directed by Aki Kaurismaki
IMDb: “A Finnish man goes to the city to find a job after the mine where he worked is closed and his father commits suicide.”
And this is a comedy.
I was unfamiliar with director Aki Kaurismaki, but apparently this is his thing. Ariel is part of his “Proletariat Trilogy,” and the director himself thinks this is his best film.
The main characters are wonderful together, and their “meet-cute” was quite unique.
After spending their first night together, Irmeli asks Taisto, “Will you disappear in the morning?” His response is, “No, we’ll be together forever.”
And he was dead serious.
This pair grew on me over the course of the film, and even though they really have nothing, they actually have everything.
Next up is a film that I was surprised I had not seen given its subject matter.
A Night to Remember (1958)
NR/123 m/IMDb: 7.9/directed by Roy Ward Baker
IMDb: “On her maiden voyage in April 1912, the supposedly unsinkable RMS Titanic strikes an iceberg in the Atlantic Ocean.”
Spoiler Alert: It sinks.
Reviewers say A Night to Remember is the definitive Titanic film due to its documentary-style realism and historical accuracy.
The filmmakers interviewed several surviving passengers and members of the crew, which is why it’s such an accurate depiction of events.
You may be familiar with another “Titanic movie” made in 1997.
Well, it was this film that inspired that director to make his Titanic movie, and he lifted ideas, plotlines, conversations, and characters from it.
The special effects were also impressive, but I wondered why they didn’t show the ship breaking in half.
I had forgotten that they didn’t realize that had happened until the wreckage was discovered in 1985.
If you’re a fan of that 1997 movie, I think you’ll definitely enjoy A Night to Remember.
Next up, a movie titled Fast Charlie whose main character is named Charlie Swift.
Oh, I get it!
Fast Charlie (2023)
NR/90 m/IMDb: 6.0/directed by Phillip Noyce
IMDb: “For 20 years, Charlie Swift has been a fixer and hitman for a mob boss named Stan. After a rival boss puts a hit on Stan and his crew, Charlie is the sole survivor and decides to avenge his friend.”
Pierce Brosnan may be my 4th favorite James Bond, but he’s back on Cinema Wellman’s Best of the Month list for the 3rd time (Black Bag, The Out-Laws) so he must be doing something right post 007.
Charlie’s boss in this film is played by our friend James Caan in his final role before his death.
Jimmy Caan always made me smile. Even when he was playing bad people.
The first time I saw The Godfather, I wanted to BE James Caan.
Perhaps a less violent version.
Although I did admire him beating the shit out of his brother-in-law for hurting his sister.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you this was groundbreaking, important cinema, but it was an action-comedy that kept me entertained for 90 minutes, so it’s on the list.
Next up is a film directed by Darren Aronofsky (Pi, Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler, Black Swan, The Whale), so you know you’re in for something with him at the helm.
Caught Stealing (2025)
R/107 m/IMDb: 6.8/directed by Darren Aronofsky
IMDb: “When his neighbor asks him to take care of his cat, a former baseball prodigy now working as a bartender finds himself in the middle of gangsters without knowing why.”
Austin Butler is the unlucky bartender in this action-comedy thriller that had such a terrific cast, I feel the need to give them all a curtain call.
Along with Butler, who does a fine job, we have Zoe Kravitz, Griffin Dunne, Regina King, and Bad Bunny.
We are also treated to Lipa and Shmully, Hasidic gangsters played perfectly by Liev Schreiber and Vincent D’Onofrio.
And their mother is CAROL KANE!!!
Have fun storming the castle!
While this is dark, it’s not nearly as heavy as some of Aronofsky’s other offerings, and the cast and direction elevated this past standard action-comedy fare.
It does include something I dislike that films seem to do a lot, but I’ll save that for our end of the year wish list episode, and I looked past it pretty quickly.
Next up is a movie I assumed was going to be a certain type of movie, and I was wrong.
You know what happens when you assume…
Slanted (2025)
R/104 m/IMDb: 5.7/directed by Amy Wang
IMDb: “An insecure Chinese American teenager undergoes experimental surgery to appear white, hoping to secure the prom queen title and peer acceptance.”
I went into this expecting it to be a body horror film, and it was actually a lot deeper than most movies in that genre, and the premise is very thought provoking.
Shirley Chen plays Joan Huang, the Chinese American yearning to be white, and the scenes with her parents before the surgery are heartbreaking.
Shirley’s parents are proud of their Chinese heritage and don’t understand why their daughter would want to abandon all of that.
Crystal saw this before I did and told me that it was not your usual body horror film, and then she told me nothing else.
She knows how to pitch a movie.
Slanted isn’t your standard body horror film since it’s really not gory at all.
Not even close.
As you can guess, the surgery doesn’t go as planned and Joan is forced to deal with her decision and its impact on her and her family.
One movie to go, and it sets the record for most people killed with a flaming axe!
They Will Kill You (2026)
R/94 m/IMDb: 6.3/directed by Kirill Sokolov
IMDb: “A woman takes a job as a housekeeper in a NYC high-rise, unaware of the building’s history of disappearances. She soon realizes the community is shrouded in mystery.”
I mentioned the flaming axe because it was really the only problem I had with this action horror comedy thriller from Russian director Kirill Sokolov.
I enjoyed They Will Kill You so much that I’m already looking for other films directed by Sokolov.
He’s a big fan of 80s and 90s horror (yes, please!), and favors practical effects whenever possible.
There was also something about what he did with the camera that made it look different to me, and we love different here at Cinema Wellman.
The lead is played by Zazie Beetz, and she kicks some major ass in several scenes of stylized ultra violence.
Patricia Arquette, Tom “Draco Malfoy” Felton, Heather “Rollergirl” Graham co-star, and James Remar lends his voice to a disembodied pig head!
This has it all!
And there is so much blood in this movie that the stars needed to have manicures every other day to try to clean things up before soaking them with more blood.
If you’re not sure if this one’s for you, just check out the trailer.
It’s hysterical, and unforgiving.
Well, that is a wrap from here at Cinema Wellman for the Best & Worst of June. Some impressive stuff that’s currently available on Netflix/HBO Max (or whatever it’s called now) and, as always, Hulu.
We hope you’re back with us in a day or two when we’ll continue Cinema Boston’s World Cup of Film tournament with the Knockout Round, and it looks like we will be doing a third episode in that series to decide the champion!
Until then, take care.
