Gowns by...

 Gowns by…

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host, David and Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. 

We literally wouldn’t be here without you, and I know how to use the word literally.

Today’s episode is dedicated to my mother, Jean, who is responsible for my love of movies, and lists, and baseball, and cooking, and…well, Jean had quite a positive impact on me.

Today’s episode is titled “Gowns by…” because it’s a credit that I started keeping an eye on several years ago in all the old movies I was watching because I love reading those old credits.

Short, to the point, and all front loaded!

At the end, you got “The End,” and that was it!

I still enjoy credits, but with some movies these days they take 8-10 minutes, and I just don’t have that time. 

I appreciate your efforts, but I just can’t handle 10 minutes of credits after the movie is over.

I’ve always paid attention to costume designers and costumes by credits because of my love for Edith Head, and I started to notice that quite a few old movies had the credit “Gowns by…” which is pretty specific when it comes to costume design.

And that’s when I started to see the same names over and over and over after the words “Gowns by…”

Gowns by Milo.

Gowns by Orry-Kelly.

Gowns by Adrian.

Who were these “gown people” who decided to specialize in gowns?

I needed to know.

The reason I’m dedicating this episode to my mother, other than it being Mother’s Day, is that she was an excellent seamstress in her day and her sewing corner in the playroom of our house (expertly constructed by my dad) along with her nearby gigantic fabric table were epic and a location of constant activity.

So, I knew my mother knew fashion and how to design and make clothes.

What I didn’t know, until after she had passed, is that she had dreams of becoming a fashion designer.

When I found that out, all of that Hollywood worship she had growing up came more into focus.

All of the pictures she cut out of movie magazines and hung on her walls could possibly have had a “fashion focus.”

Maybe she aspired to dress some of the stars that adorned her bedroom walls as a teenager. 

In any event, I was told that my grandfather shut down any dreams of her going to college in New York City to study fashion design, and that doesn’t surprise me.

What also doesn’t surprise me is that my mother never told me about any of this because she was never a “What could have been” person, although she raised one.

You never know. If she went to college to study fashion design, you may have seen the credit; “Gowns by Jean.”

We’re not going to focus on friend of Cinema Wellman and Costume Design GOAT Edith Head today, but she certainly needs to be mentioned.

Edith Head had an astounding list of 432 film credits, and while she’s most credited as a “Costume Designer,” she sometimes got a “Gowns by…” credit when dressing Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly. 

As an 8-time Oscar winner, she needs to be mentioned here. She should probably be mentioned in EVERY episode!

At some point between the 1930s-40s, credits moved away from specific credits like “Gowns by…” and pivoted to “Costumes by…” or “Costumes Designed by…” and then just “Costume Designer,” so “Gowns by…” has kind of disappeared, and we wanted to salute three icons in that field today. 

Let’s begin with Milo Anderson.

Milo Anderson was a costume designer known for The Adventures of Robin Hood, To Have and Have Not, and Mildred Pierce.

On the set of Robin Hood, Anderson substituted woven string sprayed with metal paint for chainmail when the real thing proved too noisy for filming. 

Notable films with the “Gowns by Milo” credit include; Captain Blood, Dodge City, Confessions of a Nazi Spy, High Sierra, and Yankee Doodle Dandy.

You wouldn’t think there were a lot of gowns in movies like Dodge City and High Sierra, but women in movies back in the day tended to dress. 

Next up is Orry-Kelly, who was born in Australia in 1897 and went on to revolutionize the Warners Costume Department after he joined the studio in 1932.

As comfortable designing prison uniforms for I Am a Fugitive for a Chain Gang as he was designing haute couture, Orry-Kelly worked on more than 300 films during his career.

He was the exclusive costume/gown designer for Kay Francis and was the chief costume designer for Warner Bros. Studios from 1932 to 1944.

Orry-Kelly was a three-time Best Costume Designer Oscar winner for An American in Paris, Les Girls, and Some Like it Hot. 

Notable films with “Gowns by Orry-Kelly” credit include; 42nd Street, Gold Diggers of 1933, Midnight Alibi, Flirtation Walk, Dark Victory, The Maltese Falcon, and Casablanca.

Not bad.

And finally, there’s Adrian Gilbert.

Born in 1903 to Gilbert and Helena Greenburg he took his name by combining his first name with the first name of his father, but he mostly went by “Adrian.”

He is credited for creating the padded shoulder fashion trend popularized by Joan Crawford.

Even though he was never nominated for an Academy Award, he is considered to be one of Hollywood’s greatest costume designers.

He did the costumes for the Munchkins in The Wizard of Oz, and those costumes were made entirely of felt.

Adrian had retired from film before the first Academy Awards for Costume Design were handed out, or he would have been well compensated in that area.

Notable films with “Gowns by Adrian” credit include; Grand Hotel, Dinner at Eight, Anna Karenina, The Great Ziegfeld, The Women, and Woman of the Year.

Along with being Costume Designer on The Wizard of Oz.

You may have heard of that one.

Well, that is a wrap for a quick little Mother’s Day episode since I’m thinking of Jean today and some of the things that gave her joy which are movies and fashion.

I also like to think I brought her joy as well.

We hope you’re with us next time when I wish I could tell you what we had for you, but I cannot.

Lots of irons in the fire, and you never know what to expect here at Cinema Wellman.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!

I love you Jean, thank you for everything you did for me including playing goalie with real pucks in your kitchen.

You were weak to the blocker side, but still quite formidable. 

Sorry for all of the bruised shins, mom. 

Until next time, take care.

 April’s Best & Worst

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host, David, and first off, I’d like to thank God for sitting in for me last week.

That episode was great fun, and he has already asked if he can return next season for another, and he usually gets his way.

There is no god today, so we're going to have to break down the Best & Worst of April without him. The good news is that God took the brunt of the bombs for the month in his episode which means I only have ONE movie to gripe about before highlighting a handful that are definitely worth your time. 

Six of the 49 movies we screened during the month of April were given the bomb, but five of them comprised the God’s Not Dead series, which we thankfully will NOT be revisiting, so there’s not much to complain about. 

I will anyway.

If you’re a regular here at Cinema Wellman, you’ve heard me prattle on and on about casts in movies, the directors who always seem to assemble the perfect cast, and how important casting is in the overall production.

Hard to overcome bad writing, or a bad cast, both of which are proven by…

The Pride and the Passion (1957)

AP/132 min./IMDb: 5.7/directed by Stanley Kramer

IMDb: “During the Napoleonic Wars, a British captain is sent to Spain to help prevent the French from stealing a powerful cannon.”

The three stars of this overly long movie that seemed to last as long as the Napoleonic Wars themselves are, no doubt, Hollywood royalty.

Sophia Loren, Carey Grant, and Frank Sinatra are a solid cast on paper.

But, as the old joke goes; too bad the movie wasn’t made on paper.

All three seemed terribly disinterested in the proceedings, and there was ZERO chemistry in a story that was supposed to feature a love triangle, along with all the cannon stuff.

I went back and forth trying to decide which was worse; Sinatra’s Spanish accent (touch of Hoboken?) or his hairpiece. 

This movie was so long that I did a little research during one of the scenes where they were moving the big cannon around (which happened quite frequently).

Turns out the story behind this production was way more interesting than the final product.

Interesting that there wasn’t any onscreen chemistry between Grant and Loren since he was obsessed with her and they had an affair on set!

Grant’s wife, Betsy Drake, found out about the affair and angrily left Spain. Unfortunately she left on the Andrea Doria which ended up being rammed and sunk by the Stockholm, another luxury liner. 

The S.S. Andrea Doria! Look it up, if unfamiliar. Poor Betsy.

Sinatra and his wife at the time, Ava Gardner, were having marital problems and the only reason he took this film was to be near her while she was shooting The Sun Also Rises in Europe.

When Sinatra realized there was not going to be a reconciliation, he pretty much left the production and told director Stanley Kramer to sue him to keep him there.

Sinatra did leave, and some scenes were later shot in Hollywood to appease him.

All of that off-screen drama added up to a total lack of on-screen drama.

These Hollywood legends looked as bored making this movie as I must have looked while watching it.

The good news is that that’s it for the worst, so things are looking up already! 

On the menu today for the remainder of the episode will be two film noirs and three animated movies that were screened while working on the “Animation Sensations” episode.

Let’s start with a crime drama/thriller from the 50s.

What a surprise, said absolutely no one who has ever seen an episode of this show.

Postmark for Danger (1955) - U.K.

AP/84 min./IMDb: 6.4/directed by Guy Green

IMDb: “A woman’s painted portrait and a postcard with a sketch of a woman’s hand holding a Chianti bottle are the main clues used by Scotland Yard to solve a string of murders connected to a diamond-smuggling ring.”

If you’re a regular here at Cinema Wellman, you may know that my favorite genre, hands down,  is the mystery/suspense/thriller, especially the sub-genre known as “film-noir.”

It’s why TCM is always high on the list of movie sources at the end of the year since I will watch, pretty much, ANY film-noir they add to their list.

Postmark for Danger (also known as Portrait of Alison) is a British mystery/noir that checks all of the boxes and was shot on location in and around London.

I loved how the investigators took these two seemingly unconnected “artistic” clues and put them together to solve the case. Way before the days of C.S.I.!

And the movie begins with a car going off a cliff and exploding!

Was Michael Bay making movies in 1955?!

Next up is a late 60s film noir.

Marlowe (1969)

M/96 min./IMDb: 6.4/directed by Paul Bogart

IMDb: “A young woman from Kansas hires LA private detective Phillip Marlowe to find her missing brother.”

More film noir to talk about before getting animated.

Fictional LA private dick Phillip Marlowe is no stranger to the movies.

Marlowe has been played by; Humphrey Bogart, Robert Montgomery, Elliot Gould, Robert Mitchum, James Caan, Liam Neeson, and in this film, James Garner.

James Garner is the only reason I watched this, and I did that because my mother adored him, especially as Jim Rockford in TV’s “The Rockford Files.”

Little did I know how much I’d like this movie and I was surprised at how very 40s noir it is even though it was made in 1969.

That had me thinking of some of the better film noir movies made after the heyday of the genre in the 40s and 50s.

Chinatown, Night Moves, Body Heat, Mulholland Drive, and the Coen Brothers’ phenomenal Blood Simple are all examples of exceptional film noir pieces that do the genre total justice.

I watched Marlowe for Garner, but was delighted by so many aspects of this film. 

Carroll O’Connor, William Daniels, and Jackie Coogan are in this movie, so, Archie Bunker, Mr. Feeney, and Uncle Fester!

Bruce Lee is also in this! It’s only the second American film in which he was allowed to speak with his own voice AND the only film in which he plays a villain.

When his character, gangster Winslow Wong, walks into Marlowe’s office, my first thought was, “Is that Bruce Lee?!!” I hadn’t looked up anything about the movie other than making sure I hadn’t seen it.

Winslow Wong then destroys Marlowe’s office with a series of kicks and punches in his own “rage room.”

Yes, that was Bruce Lee.

Marlowe also features an EGOT winner!

Rita Moreno is one of only 21 entertainers who has won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony.

That has to be an upcoming episode because there are SO MANY people who are only one trophy away from joining that elite group.

Moreno is terrific in this film, as she is in absolutely everything she’s in. She’s just an amazing performer who can do it all. 

Trivia that means a lot to me regarding this film (and probably no one else); Marlowe was the very last film broadcast for New York’s WABC-TV afternoon slot “The 4:30 Movie” on November 26, 1981.

I loved everything about “The 4:30 Movie!”

The three remaining films are all animated and all were suggested by people I work with at the factory when I asked for input while preparing for our “Animation Sensations” episode.

The Black Cauldron (1985)

PG/80 min./IMDb: 6.3/directed by Ted Berman

IMDb: “A young boy and a group of misfit friends embark on a quest to find a dark magic item of ultimate power before a diabolical tyrant can.”

As I mentioned during our “Animation Sensations” episode, I asked friends and family to chime in with their favorite(s), and when I saw The Black Cauldron on that list, I had to laugh.

I always thought this movie was based on “Dragon’s Lair,” that 80s cartoony video game that had the best animated graphics at the time. 

And while it does appear similar in appearance, I was very wrong.

The Black Cauldron was the first Disney animated film that’s not a musical, does not contain any songs in the background or performed by characters! They should have made more of these.

There was a scene in this movie that needed to be removed after angry moms and crying kids left screenings in droves!

What could cause that, you may ask?

Good question.

It seems there was a sequence in which rotted corpses were shown slowly fermenting complete with the flesh oozing and falling off the skeletons.

Toughen up, snowflakes!

The colors are so bold and vibrant, no surprise to learn that over 1,165 different hues and colors were used (along with over 400 gallons of paint!).

Thank you to Anthony for putting this animated fantasy quest on the list, it was very UN-Disney, and I like that!

Next up, animation by Rankin and Bass!

You know them. I know you do.

The Last Unicorn (1982)

G/92 min./IMDb: 7.3/directed by Arthur Rankin Jr. & Jules Bass

IMDb: “A beautiful unicorn sets out to learn if she truly is the last of her kind in this sparkling animated musical.”

Rankin & Bass are responsible for ALL of the following; Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Little Drummer Boy, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, The Little Drummer Boy and all sorts of sequels of those productions.

Chances are some of those titles are in your holiday wheelhouse, and rightly so.

And, if you’re a fan of any of those and haven’t seen The Last Unicorn, you’ll need to fix that soon because this film is an absolute treat.

Mia Farrow voices the title character and it’s truly heartbreaking to see her character struggling with the thought that she may be the very last unicorn.

Sir Christopher Lee voices King Haggard, and he showed up on set with his own copy of the source material complete with notes and segments that he would not allow to be changed. 

Lee did the same thing on the sets of The Lord of the Rings films he appeared in, and I love that!

Jeff Bridges, the voice of Prince Lir, did this film for free since it was one of his favorite books growing up.

The evil Haggard creates a “Red Bull” who rounds up all of the unicorns and forces them into the sea to drown.

This was a kid’s book?!?!

I don’t want to spoil anything else about this charming film other than I made a short video of myself sobbing when I realized what was happening at the end, and I only sent it to Hannah since it was so embarrassing.

The animators for this 1982 film are predominantly Japanese which is proof that Rankin & Bass knew what they were doing. 

AND the unicorn design from this movie was also used in the 80s cartoon Thundercats!

Thundercats are a GO!

Thank you to Joe for bringing this delightful film to my attention. It’s an absolute delight.

And kind of scary as well! 

One film remaining, and it’s a Studio Ghibli film, so you know how I feel about it already!

Pom Poko (1994) - Japan

PG/119 min./IMDb: 7.2/directed by Isao Takahata

IMDb: “A community of magical shape-shifting raccoon dogs struggle to prevent their forest home from being destroyed by urban development.”

You had me at “shape-shifting raccoon dogs!”

There aren’t many films left on the “Studio Ghibli Yet to See” list, and now Pom Poko will join the always crowded list of “Studio Ghibli Films to Re-Watch.”

I am a fan of shape shifters in movies, and it’s a power I wish I actually had.

These raccoon dogs are wonderful to watch as they go against developers who aim on de-foresting their forest.

So let’s recap: Studio Ghibli - check, shape-shifting raccoon dogs - check, a pro-environment/anti-development story - check, and I forgot to mention the snarky narrator, who is a treat - check!

As I often do here, I don’t want to tell you too much more about this movie since I think you should definitely see it for yourself. 

Thank you to Tyler for suggesting this, and I needed to check my archives because I thought I had already seen it.

The Cinema Wellman Archives proving itself useful once again!

Well, that is a wrap from here at Cinema Wellman and our re-cap of the Best & Worst of April.

We hope you join us this Sunday for an episode I’m going to dedicate to my mom since it’s Mother’s Day.

The episode is simply titled “Gowns by…” and we hope you join us for that (after you call your mom and tell her you love her, of course!)

Until then, take care.

Cinema Wellman Plays God

 Cinema Wellman Plays God

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman, I am your host, God as David and Chet have the day off!

I’ve been called in by David because he thought I’d be more merciful when dealing with the movie series I’m about to deal with.

This is Cinema Wellman’s 3rd “Request Episode,” and this one comes from Aria, a friend of Cinema Wellman, and Hannah, in Denver.

She requested an episode about a Christian movie series, God’s Not Dead. I wasn’t aware there was a debate going on. I feel fine.

David researched the series and knew he was going to need some help.

Aria must be important for David to contact me. I joked with him that I hadn’t heard from him since Game 6 in 1986, but he reminded me it was most likely Super Bowl XXV in 1991 when Norwood lined up that FG, but it was good to hear from him anyway.

I’m coming to you in my most accepted version of me. Yes, even I Google myself! Those images are wild, by the way, and none are even close! So many old, white men!

Most couldn’t handle my true form, not to mention the cold. All that “BGE”- Big God Energy - needs a serious cooling system.

My usual flowing white robe has been replaced with my martini robe because it’s Sunday, and even I get a day of rest. Cheers!

At first, we thought of doing a “Which Was Worse?” episode, but that didn’t seem to fit since it may have ended in a five-way tie for worst.

Then we were going to do a straight ranking of Worst to Best, before realizing there were clearly going to be no “bests.”

So, what we ended up with is just an overall look at the series in chronological order along with a list of grievances in an episode we were going to title “God’s Not Dead, But He’s Going to Wish He Was,” before landing on “Cinema Wellman Plays God.”

You’ll notice that the number of comments decreases a bit as we move along because, to be honest, this stuff just started to wear us down after a few days.

David wanted me to mention that he couldn’t watch more than one of these in the same day and that he’s changed his mind about that meatloaf movie.

May me help us all, let’s get started.

God’s Not Dead (2014)

PG/113 min./IMDb: 4.6/directed by Harold Cronk

IMDb: “College philosophy professor Mr. Radisson’s curriculum is challenged by his new student, Josh, who believes God exists.”

• Brought to you by “Faith Family Films.” Heavy handed. Heavy sigh.

• Kevin “Tarzan” Sorbo plays a terrible college professor (what college uses portable white boards?!)  This professor is awful and unrealistic from the start. He wouldn’t have a job.

• Dean “Superman” Cain plays a character so evil I’m surprised he wasn’t billed as “Beelzebub.” 

• A Muslim woman is shown removing her hijab to fit in - don’t like that at all, no matter where that plot is headed.

• Christian movies also feature empty coffee cups!

• I’m referred to as the “Big Man in the Sky” - excuse me?!?

• Everyone looks bad here; pro-Christians, anti-Christians…

• “I feel like God wants someone to defend him.” No. I do not.

• Do we really need a movie that features a “Duck Dynasty” cast member spouting scripture (and not a duck to be seen!). I’m a big fan of ducks, by the way. 

• It is suggested rather strongly that other religions don’t worship me the right way, which is ridiculous. Worship me as you please.

• Insulting, scripture-spouting nonsense.

• “You have cancer.” “I don’t have time for cancer.” I’m not sure it works that way.

• “The Bible had it right, and science had it wrong.” I’m here to tell you that there’s really no truth in that statement at all. 

• Shot in 20 days, and, as David likes to say, “It shows!”

• Cancer update: Dean Cain’s wife: “I have cancer.” Dean Cain: “This couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” Oh, My ME! 

• The non-believers in this film are depicted as downright despicable.

• Sorbo’s wife is a former student?!??! Good thing he’s a non-believer! A Christian professor would never marry a former student!

• Sorbo’s character is so hateful that it all comes off as a joke. Everyone in the movie uses an iPhone except for Sorbo, and I’m not sure what point was trying to be made there ...Android users are non-believers?

• That Muslim girl shown removing her hijab earlier is caught by her father listening to Christian scripture. The father beats her and kicks her out of the house. Not even I know how to unpack this movie’s message other than trying to portray EVERY other religion as being immoral and wrong.

• Everyone who even questions (with valid questions) comes off as an idiot.

• Can the Christian band “Newsboys” cure cancer?!?! According to this movie, I believe they can!

• Tarzan gets hit by a car at the end and does some convenient “last minute shopping” and quotes scripture before he checks out. I found that to be hysterical.

One of the things we decided to do for this project was count how many times I’m mentioned. For this one, the “G-count” was a whopping 88. One of my nicknames, “Lord” had five hits, and my son was mentioned 11 times as well.

Can’t leave him out of these movies, I guess.

Even though he’s not in the titles, and I am.

God’s Not Dead 2 (2016)

PG/120 min./IMDb: 4.4/directed by Harold Cronk

IMDb: “When a high school teacher is asked a question in class about Jesus, her response lands her in deep trouble.”

• Melissa “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” Joan Hart?

• Ray Wise, who played the Devil in “Reaper?”

• So, these first two movies cast Tarzan, Superman, a witch, and the Devil? Solid Christian lineup there.

• Oh, and Pat Boone is in it, and that makes a lot of sense.

• The woman’s cancer from movie #1 is gone after just prayer and an intervention by “Newsboys!” Honest to me! Pretty simplistic, don’t you think? 

• “The most basic human right of all is the right to know Jesus.” Really? You don’t want to give that more thought before bringing my son into it?

• A “Duck Dynasty" daughter is in this? Are these movies sponsored by that show? Why else would they be all over it?

• Christians are shown basically imposing their faith on an unwilling audience. Do they realize that? I mean, they’ve seen these movies, yes?

They can’t like the way they look, can they?!

• And once again, all non-believers are unhinged and evil.

• “Are you a believer?” Do normal people ask that question during regular conversation? And while I’m here, tossing around scripture in normal conversation is quite unappealing.

• Pastor Dave and his sidekick are SO uninteresting, and I know they’re in ALL of these movies, and I’m not looking forward to any of their scenes.

• The plotline is utterly preposterous. David wanted me to tell you that he was asked all sorts of questions about Jesus in his 33 years in a public-school classroom, and his answers NEVER landed him in deep trouble.

• The soundtracks for these movies are textbook soap opera scores that go nowhere and have no sense of the scenes they’re supporting. Everything sounds the same throughout no matter what’s going on on-screen.

• Why was this two hours long? Church isn’t even this long, for my sake!

• There’s a mention of “Duck Dynasty” during JURY SELECTION?!?!  Bitch, please.

• Add a Ghostbuster to this stellar cast as Ernie Hudson is the judge.

• This one had our heads spinning since it pits pro-Bible people against pro-Constitution people. It’s like the Phillies vs. the Yankees!

• In this film, hard core Christians are painted as the enemy by the media. Have they watched FOX News? Just asking.

• Wait, are we debating if Jesus Christ actually existed? Seriously? Educate yourselves, people.

• The teacher’s lawyer’s “Switch-a-Roo” at the end is just stupid and goes on forever.

• David wanted me to share that he refused to pay for any of these (other than the last one since he had no choice) and suffered through ads so NOT to pay for the movies (or the cause), and the commercials were more entertaining than the films. And it was VERY interesting to see who paid for ads during a Christian propaganda film!

• Another NEWSBOYS performance?!?! Good me in heaven! Make it stop!

• This ends with a plea for everyone watching to text a message to EVERYONE they know reading, you guessed it…"God’s Not Dead.”

The G-count dropped way down to 20 for this movie, but my boy still got 

his 11 mentions.

God’s Not Dead: A Light in Darkness (2018)

PG/105 min./IMDb: 4.5/directed by Michael Mason

IMDb: “Now the late 2010s, an aging Reverend Dave faces cultural and social backlash, including having his church burned down during a protest, and he is antagonized by atheists, leftists, liberal college students, the school board, and rioters.”

• Now the bad guys are people who don’t believe in me, leftists, and liberal college students?!? Wow. Nobody else out there for you to target or drown out? Good me almighty. 

• The fact that Christianity is painted as a persecuted religion in an American film is patently absurd. It’s borderline paranoia. 

• They bring up the “Mandela Effect,” and David absolutely hates that! No intelligent person who knew who Nelson Mandela was and was familiar with the situation DID NOT THINK HE DIED IN PRISON! And the fact that some people call it the “MandALA Effect” PROVES they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. David asked me to say all that.

• In case you were wondering my thoughts on the subject; church and state should be separated then, now, always, and forever. A simple reason being there’s more than one religion to follow, follow them all, or follow none. I’d go with none.

• Pastor Dave openly mocks legit questions asked by those questioning the faith. Come on, Pastor Dave. Be better. If you know the answers, answer the questions.

• A Judge Jeanine Pirro spotting!  As HERSELF? Unappealing.

• This “God’s Not Dead” text thing is getting annoying as they mention it again. Please don’t include me in any part of your Christian e-chain letter.

The G-count for this was a lucky 13, and my son dropped down to just two mentions. 

God’s Not Dead: We the People (2021)

PG/92 min./IMDb: 4.4/directed by Vince Null

IMDb: “Reverend Dave defending himself and a group of Christian homeschooling families after the inspection by the local government official.”

• Empty coffee cups, again?!?! Maybe I AM dead!

• Home Schools have real school desks?! How did I not know that?

• Those evil liberals are once again the enemy. Yawn.

• The young Muslim girl from early on in this series is now going FULL Christian with ZERO explanation. 

• The filmmakers know absolutely nothing about home schooling, by the way.

• Jeanine Piro AGAIN?!?! And this time she’s a FICTIONAL CHARACTER who happens to be a JUDGE?!! I mean, this is idiotic even for this series. She played herself in the MOVIE BEFORE THIS, people!

• At this point David and I were struggling to get through these. I suggested a drinking game, but he knew he didn’t have a chance against me, so…

• More Newsboys?!?! At least we didn’t need to see them perform this time (or cure more cancer).

God’s Not Dead: In God We Trust (2024)

NR/96 min./IMDb: 4.6/directed by Lily Boles, Stephen Fogelman, Daniel Moore

IMDb: “Amid political and spiritual turmoil, Reverend David Hill steps up to run for Congress. Opponent Peter Kane aims to erase religion from policy, and the fight becomes a beacon of hope for people seeking more leadership in a divided world.”

• 

  Enough with the false persecution already.

• 

  The “bad” politician in this is for the separation of church and state and keeps using the phrase “religious superstition” instead of just “religion” to make him look more, you know, evil.

• 

  This Pastor Dave is so smug and annoying. I’m on record for loving everyone, but he’s a lot. 

• 

  We’re expected to believe a government grant was pulled from a women' s shelter because there was a Bible study held there? Seriously? In America?

• 

  Scott “Charles in Charge” Baio and Charlene “Dallas” Tilton are in this! Baio’s “Charles in Charge” co-star Willie Aames starred as “Bibleman” in a TV series, so…. there’s that. David wanted me to add that Nicole Eggert was also in “Charles in Charge.” That’s it. He just didn’t want you to forget Nicole Eggert.

• 

  Newsboys AGAIN!!! They’re everywhere! Newsboys' infestation!

• 

  These movies keep repeating the same phrase over and over; “God is good. All the time.” Are they familiar with my Old Testament work?

• 

  Pastor Dave running for Congress vs. the Bad Politician and picks up the mic and starts working the crowd DURING THE DEBATE.

• 

  David and I were joyous at the conclusion of this one. We had made it through all five, even though it seemed like at least 10 movies!

And the G-count for this one was only 11. Did you people forget where your bread is buttered?

Some stats for the series: G-Count: 144 for an average of 28.8, my boy Jesus got a total of only 24 which I’ll make sure I bring up next Thanksgiving. And my nickname “Lord” only got 5 and all in the original. Didn’t catch on, I guess. 

That’s the entire series, but, before I go, just a few items…

Get me off your money. And while you’re doing that, take me out of public schools and government buildings, and you know…NON-religious places.

Thanks for all of the prayers, sorry I don’t answer a vast majority of them, but check the fine print of our original user agreement.

NONE of the religions are wrong, so stop fighting so many wars in my name. Not a fan of war.

If you believe in me, thanks for the likes & subscriptions! If you don’t believe in me, that’s also cool. Just remember to be nice to each other.

I always have a backup ark ready.

Well, that is a wrap from here at Cinema Wellman! Thank you to David for bringing me in to host this one and giving me free reign in Cinema Wellman (although I have free reign everywhere) and thank you to Aria for the suggestion. We won’t hold it against you.

David will be back next week for the Best & Worst of the month of April, and we hope you’re here for that.

Until then, I bless you and take care.