July Screenings: Best & Worst

 July Screenings: Best & Worst

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host David, and July is history which means the summer is half over. I was much more upset about that when I was teaching.

Now July and August are just two more months I get to work!

And I have been working quite a lot which has cut into production time which has resulted in fewer episodes recently.

Hannah would remind me that I make all the rules here and there really is no set schedule. 

My OCD had a problem with that, but I’ve been dealing with that and some other things recently, and I think I’ve sorted most of it out. 

So, we’re back in business with the worst and the best of the month of July, and we will begin as we always do….

THE WORST

Shadow in the Cloud (2020)

R/83 min./IMDb: 5.0/directed by Roseanne Liang

This one is on me. 

I guess that’s a silly thing to say since ALL of this is really on me.

Nobody but the Academy MAKES me watch movies, and this one certainly wasn’t nominated for any Oscars when it was released four years ago.

The premise of Shadow in the Clouds sounded like a re-telling of a favorite “Twilight Zone” episode of mine, so I thought I’d give it a shot.

It was only 83 minutes after all, which should have been a red flag. 

IMDb: “A female WWII pilot traveling with top secret documents on a B-17 Flying Fortress encounters an evil presence on board the flight.”

Chloe Grace Moretz stars, and I have nothing against her although I HATED Kick-Ass! (Not her fault!)

Moretz is Maude, the female WWII pilot of which there were over 1,000 during the real war, so no issue there. 

I did have an issue with an over-the-top display of misogyny and vulgarity as the male crew discusses her presence on the mission over the radio (which Maude can hear).

I realize there was hazing, and it was crude, but this could have been toned down 50% and we’d still hate every man on the plane and want them to die.

It was unnecessary. 

I mentioned that Maude could hear them on the radio because she’s in the bubble under the plane where the ball turret gunner sat.

We don’t see anyone other than Moretz in her glass bubble for most of the movie, which I thought was an interesting strategy, but then they abandon it when this whole thing goes off the rails and Maude sees a creature on the wing.

Here come the spoilers since I really don’t think you should see this.

And I’ll make it quick.

Maude sees the creature multiple times, but nobody else does (of course). 

When we finally see the creature, it appears to be a gigantic rat with a man’s body? It’s terrible makeup, it’s terrible prosthetics, it’s terrible CGI. Whatever they used, it’s terrible.

Then it’s revealed that the valise containing the top-secret documents actually contains her baby she had with one of the men on board who they’re now showing for some reason.

The plane crashes and this baby is some kind of John Wick baby because it survives so many things that would instantly kill a tiny baby. 

I was NOT rooting for the baby to die!

I’m just saying...John...Wick...baby.

This isn’t even worth 83 minutes of your time. They do end up killing that rat thing, but by the time that happened I really didn’t care.

I was hoping the baby was going to fight the rat man thing. 

Next is a sci-fi movie from 1969, and if you’re thinking that all sci-fi from that era is pure cheese, Kubrick made 2001: A Space Odyssey the year before. 

The makers of Moon Zero Two must have missed that.

Moon Zero Two (1969)

G/100 min./IMDb: 4.5/directed by Roy Ward Baker

IMDb: “A space salvage expert and his partner become involved with a group of criminals intent on hijacking a small asteroid made of sapphire and crashing it into the moon.”

Yes. You heard that correctly.

Every once in a while, I run across a bad movie that I don’t even bother to jot down notes for while watching. 

I go right to my phone and start recording short videos.

Whenever I do that, I like to present my thoughts as they were recorded in their stream of consciousness manner.

I love that all of these videos are recorded in the dark.

Here we go:

*This trash was unfortunately released a couple of months AFTER the actual moon landing, so people had already seen the real thing! Why watch this bullshit?!

*It’s supposed to take place in 2021! Nothing better than a sci-fi film from the 60s or 70s trying to predict years we’ve already lived! They have us wearing all one-piece garments, and most of it is shiny! I missed that fashion trend. And I’ll bring it up again...I was promised flying cars in 7th grade!!!!

*The astronauts are drinking out of juice boxes! Did this movie invent the juice box?!?!

*The guns look like Smith & Wesson handguns that have been bedazzled! It’s a western, and it’s a bad one.

*I love their use of the lunar module! I’m sure NASA saw this and said, “I wish we could do that!”

Go to IMDb and watch the trailer. Save yourself the time. You’ll see what I’m talking about. 

Now let’s talk about the best of July and I’m going to begin with a duo of films that I would usually dismiss due to what they are.

Twisters (2024) and 

Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F (2024)

PG-13/122 min./IMDb: 7.1/directed by Lee Isaac Chung

R/118 min./IMDb: 6.5/directed by Mark Molloy

Let’s begin with a couple of math problems:

Twisters (2024) - Twister (1996) = 28 years

Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F (2024) - Beverly Hills Cop III (1994) = 30 years

If you’ve spent any time here with us in Cinema Wellman, you know how we tend to loathe sequels and reboots and re-imaginings and standalone sequels and legacy sequels and standalone legacy sequels if they even exist.

Get an original idea, people! We don’t want to see the same old warmed up junk on our plates year after year.

It’s why I tend to sometimes go overboard about loving movies that are original.

All of that being said, I enjoyed both of these movies and would recommend them to anyone who enjoyed the originals. 

According to Screen Rant, Twisters is, get this, “not a remake or reboot of the original Twister, but a standalone sequel.”

As Lysa always said, whatever. 

IMDb: “A retired tornado-chaser and meteorologist is persuaded to return to Oklahoma to work with a new team and new technologies.”

And an old plot. 

The effects were fun, and that’s what drives that “story” anyway. I saw it in the IMAX which was fun although I had to move my seat up two rows because of the sound.

It was painfully loud.

I don’t recall ever having done that before. 

And if you like Eddie Murphy, definitely check out Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F.

IMDb will provide all you need to know about this sequel; “Axel Foley returns to Beverly Hills after his daughter’s life is threatened and works with old pals John Taggart and Billy Rosewood to uncover a conspiracy.”

Murphy still has the charm that made us like Axel so many years ago, and I forgave the fact that there were two chase scenes in the first 25 minutes of the movie. 

I guess I have a better chance at liking your sequel if you wait 28-30 years before making it. 

Faye (2024)

PG/91 min./IMDb: 7.1/directed by Laurent Bouzereau

IMDb: “Faye Dunaway reflects on her life and candidly discusses the triumphs and challenges of her illustrious career.”

Since this is a documentary about Faye Dunaway, it obviously helps if you’re a fan of hers, which I am. 

Hollywood history is filled with stories about “difficult” actresses. 

To me this always meant that the women were strong, spoke their mind, and advocated for themselves. 

Several traits' men in Hollywood had no time for apparently since they complained about it all the time.

I guess women were expected to keep their mouths shut and do everything the men told them to. 

I’m happy to report that there were a ton of women who spoke up and made things “difficult” for the male producers and directors. 

Faye Dunaway certainly has this reputation, and there are certain segments of the interview in this documentary that kind of show her being a tad, shall I say, difficult?

At one point she asks for a glass of water. When she’s brought a bottle of water, she accepts it but rolls her eyes and says, “I asked for a glass of water, but…”

I thoroughly enjoyed this look at the long and storied career of Dunaway with her first-person accounts of working on some excellent films during her career.

My personal Faye Dunaway Top 5:

*Network

*The Thomas Crown Affair

*Three Days of the Condor

*Bonnie and Clyde

*Chinatown

This documentary also reminded me of one of the all-time greatest “Hollywood” photos ever taken!

Dunaway was nominated for three Oscars, winning one for Best Actress in Network.

The photo, which is on the blog (cinemawellman.com) and on the screen now if you’re watching on the YouTubes, shows Dunaway in the wee hours after her Oscar win at the pool of the Beverly Hills Hotel on March 29, 1977.

She’s dressed in silk and high heels; the trades are all strewn at her feet, her Oscar is on the table, and she looks totally wiped out.

It’s so very “Hollywood,” I may need to get a copy of that for the studio at some point. 

Next is a prequel? Really? How’d they get me to bite on a prequel being good?

Oh right, Furiosa kind of set that precedent earlier this year.

A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)

PG-13/99 min./IMDb: 6.5/directed by Michael Sarnoski

IMDb: “A young woman named Sam finds herself trapped in New York City during the early stages of an invasion by alien creatures with ultra-sensitive hearing.”

This is the third in this series created by John Krasinski. He directed the first two which starred Emily Blunt.

They are not around for this prequel, but those scary monsters with impeccable hearing certainly are. 

In numbers!

Lupita Nyong’o is Sam who is dealing with some very difficult times BEFORE the creatures show up. 

Since the monsters can hear every tiny sound people make, I found it very suspenseful at times. 

And I think the monsters are terrifying. And fast!

They’ll make quick work of you, that’s for sure. 

I liked this a lot, but isn’t the first movie technically also “Day One?” Aren’t we with Emily Blunt and family when these things show up? We’re just with different people when these things show up in this movie?

I may be wrong. That wouldn’t be a surprise. 

But I liked this movie regardless of that nitpick.

One movie left and it’s about faking the moon landing.

So, it’s a documentary!

Fly Me to the Moon (2024)

PG-13/132 min./IMDb: 6.8/directed by Greg Berlanti

Just joking about the documentary part. We definitely went to the moon in 1969, and Stanley Kubrick had nothing to do with it. 

IMDb: “Marketing maven Kelly Jones wreaks havoc on launch director Cole Davis’s already difficult task. When the White House deems the mission too important to fail, the countdown truly begins.”

Kelly Jones is played by Scarlett Johannsen and Channing Tatum (not a fan) plays Cole Davis.

I thought they had some good screen chemistry going, and the supporting cast is also quite good. 

Woody Harrelson plays government agent Moe Berkus. Berkus is working for Nixon and pulls all the strings behind the scenes when the government decides they need to fake the moon landing in case the real one doesn’t work. 

The production design and costumes are wonderfully 1969, and it was fun seeing people smoking on airplanes again!

This was also a bit of a rarity in that I liked this movie so much and it was 2 hours and 12 minutes! I usually complain about that.

I guess they did a good job distracting me with all the space stuff and Scarlett.

Well done!

Fly Me to the Moon reminded me at times of 1997’s Wag the Dog, but that film was much darker.

If you haven’t seen that, put that on a list. That one will have you wondering how much you should believe about what the media tells you, and that was made 27 years ago!

Well, that is a wrap from here at Cinema Wellman as we recap the worst and best from the month of July.

We hope you’ll join us again next time as we present “Which Was Worse” 8: Slotherhouse vs. Llamageddon.

Two of my favorite animals go head-to-head to, I’m guessing, see how many humans they can kill?

That’s just a guess on my part. The animals may be all about helping the humans in those movies. 

Join us when we find out, and until then, take care.