March Screenings: Best & Worst
Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman. I am your host David, and another month is behind us! We survived the Ides, spring has sprung, the Madness is just about over, and its once again time to recap the Best & Worst films we screened here in the month of March.
I think it’s very fitting that March was Women’s History Month since many of our best films this month were made by women or feature female protagonists or BOTH!
And our WORST film was made by men and has the word Men in the title.
I’m just sayin…
Other than that “man-bomb,” there were two other atrocious movies that I will save for later because they were screened for an upcoming episode.
That means there is only ONE film on the worst list this month, but don’t worry. There’s enough “worst” in this movie for 10 movies!
Maybe more!
Let’s go back to 1979, or 1985, I mean 1997, would you believe 2005?!
Dangerous Men (2005)
R/80 min/IMDb: 4.2/directed by Jahangir Salehi
The reason I mentioned all of those dates is because this production actually began in 1979, got shelved, and then picked up again in the mid 80s. There was another break until the late 90s, and then it was finally completed and released in 2005.
This movie was widely rumored to have grossed only $70 in its theatrical run, which will give you an idea of how truly ghastly it is.
In reality, it grossed $2,238.
That is fantastic.
If you think sound and lighting aren’t important in movies, just watch Dangerous Men.
It appears to be lit by people who don’t even understand the concept of light itself.
The sound echoes and the levels are all over the place.
The acting is on par with what you’d see in an adult film. Or so I am told.
The story is incoherent, and the climax involves two characters we meet with a half hour to go in the movie!
I love the poster, which includes the following quotes by, I’m guessing, “critics?”
“Mind-boggling WTF-ery” and “The Holy Grail of Holy F***ing S**t!”
I believe that was Pauline Kael and Vincent Canby.
One story from this production that I absolutely love is about a car shown going over a cliff and being totally demolished (it blows up real good).
Turns out the car belonged to the director’s 16-year-old daughter. She had dated a boy her father prohibited her from seeing, so he took the car and told her she’d never see it again.
Remember how many years this mess took to make it to the big screen?
Well, the director’s daughter had no idea what happened to her car…until she saw the movie in 2005.
Please see this if you get the chance.
It could quite possibly be the worst movie you have ever seen.
And now to the good side of the ledger!
Drive Away Dolls (2024)
R/84 min/IMDb: 5.7/directed by Ethan Coen
I want to quickly mention this while admitting that it’s cheating a bit.
I saw Drive-Away Dolls at the end of February, not in March, but February’s episode was already done, so I never got a chance to mention it.
Written and directed by Ethan Coen (no Joel this time), this is an extremely enjoyable road trip movie that is so bizarre at times, it can only be a Coen movie.
Pedro Pascal, Miley Cyrus, and Matt Damon have possibly the smallest and strangest roles of their careers!
I may be giving this more credit than it deserves, but the Coens have been friends of Cinema Wellman for decades now.
They can do no wrong.
Well…The Ladykillers was wrong. As was Intolerable Cruelty, but you can’t win them all.
Mean Girls (2024)
PG-13/112 min/IMDb: 5.8/directed by Samantha Jayne
This Mean Girls is based on the Mean Girls Musical and not the original Mean Girls film from 2004.
I have not seen the musical, but I did rescreen the 2004 original before going to see this.
Written by Tina Fey and directed by Samantha Jayne, Mean Girls features a phenomenal cast. The characters were “tweaked” a bit, but still remained loyal to the source material. This was a lot of fun.
The musical numbers were tremendous, and Renee Rapp as Regina George was the highlight for me. She played Regina on stage, and I’m sure she crushed it. Tina Fey was happy to hear that the suits wanted Rapp for the movie instead of a “known” actress. That gamble totally paid off.
Rapp’s introductory song makes Regina George look like a Bond villain.
Just wonderful. Plastics last forever.
Jules (2023)
PG-13/87 min/IMDb: 6.8/directed by Marc Turtletaub
Have you ever seen Sexy Beast?
If you have, Ben Kingsley probably scared the shite out of you. He was absolutely terrifying in that movie and his performance earned him a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination.
Ben Kingsley’s Milton in Jules couldn’t be further from his role as gangster Don Logan in Sexy Beast.
IMDb: “Milton lives a quiet life of routine in a small western Pennsylvania town, but finds his day upended when a UFO and its extra-terrestrial passenger crash land in his backyard.”
Milton’s neighbors include Jane Curtain (you know her) and Harriet Sansom Harris (you know her as well, you just don’t know you know her!), and Jules (the alien) is wonderful.
The filmmakers describe Jules as “genderless, angelic, and friendly,” which is a perfect description.
The actress playing Jules, Jade Quon, known mostly for stunt work, does an excellent job portraying emotion without uttering a single word buried under quite a bit of makeup.
Quon had to sit for four hours each day for the application, and none of the prosthetics were reusable.
Even though Milton is older than I am, this film made me think about my own mortality and the relationship I have with my daughters.
This is a sweet, funny, and heartwarming movie that I saw on a whim and totally surprised me.
Bottoms (2023)
R/91 min/IMDb: 6.8/directed by Emma Seligman
IMDb to start us off: “Two unpopular queer high-school students start a fight club to have sex before graduation.”
I have always thought that comedies were the most difficult genre to recommend to people. Humor is so personal and what makes one person laugh hysterically may have another person just shaking their head or being offended in some way.
I am extremely careful when recommending comedies, and I always make sure to add that “I” found it funny, or it made “me” laugh.
I don’t know what makes you laugh.
You may laugh at kids falling off bikes, I don’t know.
That being said, Bottoms is a rare breed of comedy for me. It’s a raunchy comedy that was actually funny and made me laugh. A lot.
I think the main reason is it was written by women (Emma Seligman & Rachel Sennott) and directed by a woman (Seligman). I’ve seen all the raunch male writers can muster over the years, and it’s tired.
Sennott and Ayo Edeberi are the leaders of the fight club, and their chemistry is undeniable.
I then found out that Sennott and Edeberi were roommates at NYU and Seligman also attended NYU and was a close friend of theirs.
This familiarity adds a genuineness to the film even though many of the scenes are way too crazy for reality.
Even though I am NOT the target audience for this film or the desired demographic, I thoroughly enjoyed this from start to finish.
Ever see a movie and wonder if it’s okay to laugh at the jokes? As in, “Am I allowed to laugh at that?!?”
This is one of those movies, and I was told by a reliable source that, YES! I was allowed to laugh at all of those jokes!
And whoever’s idea it was to have all the football players dressed in FULL UNIFORM every time they’re shown no matter where they are is absolutely brilliant.
I always thought football players looked like idiots wearing their jerseys the Friday before game day.
Not that I told them, of course.
See Bottoms! Seligman and Sennott also teamed up for Shiva Baby, which will be screened this month.
I’ll keep you posted.
Next up is a big shift in gears!
Filibus (1915)
NR/76 min/IMDb: 6.5/directed by Mario Roncoroni
We pivot from a raunchy female driven comedy to a silent Italian film from 1915 that kanopy described as, “the most exciting, witty, feminist, steampunk, cross-dressing aviatrix thriller you will ever see!”
I cannot argue with ANY of that!
Filibus was amazing, and I had to keep reminding myself that it was made in 1915!!!
Grandma Lou was three years old!
Among the progressive elements found in this delightful cat and mouse thriller:
*Female protagonist Filibus outwits/taunts male detective - she frames the male detective for a variety of crimes and embarrasses him repeatedly
*Filibus dresses as a man and seduces women
*Filibus dresses as a woman and seduces men
*Filibus the sky pirate leads an all-male crew who follows her every command
This was a lot of fun, and the only reason I watched it was because of the poster on kanopy. Go figure.
And that leaves us with one film left on the list, so that must be our favorite.
Great month, but this one stood out for a variety of reasons.
Love Lies Bleeding (2024)
R/104 min/IMDb: 7.3/directed by Rose Glass
Another female writer/director, more female protagonists who are NOT to be trifled with, and a story so compelling you won’t be able to take your eyes off the screen.
This is only Rose Glass’ second feature film, but the final product on the screen seems like it was made by a wily veteran.
Love Lies Bleeding is gritty and nasty and grim. It’s a modern-day film noir IMDb describes as follows: “Gym manager Lou falls for Jackie, a bodybuilder who is passing through town en route to a competition in Las Vegas.”
Lou is played by friend of Cinema Wellman Kristen Stewart who continues to impress with every new role.
The bodybuilder is played by Katy O’Brian. I was not familiar with her work, but she does a great job as Jackie, a multi-layered character who keeps us guessing.
And then there’s Ed Harris. Good god, there’s Ed Harris!
He. Is. Frightening.
I was thinking about this film for days afterward, which is always the sign of a movie that made an impact on you.
Well, that is a wrap for our Best & Worst of the month of March, and it was a month dominated by women!
Always good to see!
We hope you join us again next week when we take a look at “Airplane Movies!”
Until then, please extinguish all smoking materials, return your tray tables to their upright positions, and take care.
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