Who's Jason Chasin? All 12 Friday the 13th Movies Ranked!

                             Who’s Jason Chasin?: 

All 12 Friday the 13th Movies Ranked

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman! I am your host, David, and today we’re going to take an in depth look into a film series that began in 1980, the year I graduated from high school. 

Although it may seem like Marvel created the movie series (there are currently 40 MCU films and counting) the concept of a film series has been around for a very long time.

Characters such as Boston Blackie, Tarzan, Bulldog Drummond, and Charlie Chan all had extremely successful series of films that ran as B-movies in the 40s and 50s.

A favorite of mine is the Bowery Boys series with 48 films to their credit. I used to watch one before the football games started on Sundays at Grandma Lou’s. Channel 5 in New York played one every Sunday that ended just in time. Great memories of that. 

Did you know that there are 49 Scooby-Doo movies! Although an overwhelming majority of them are straight to video movies as opposed to theatrical releases. 

Getting a little more current, there are 13 movies in the Star Trek series, and 14 Spider-Man movies (maybe more since they seem to make them weekly). There are 14 X-Men movies! Hard to believe that. I would have guessed five.

There are 25 James Bond movies, and 36 Godzilla movies (I believe I own 33 of them). 

The film series that we’ll be ranking “Bottom to Top” today has 12 films to its credit. 

A dozen movies! Not bad!

That’s more than the Halloween series (11), Star Wars (11), and Harry Potter PLUS their Fantastic Beasts spinoff series (11). It’s also more than the Fast and the Furious series if you include Hobbs and Shaw. (11)

And you ALWAYS include Hobbs and Shaw unless the list/conversation is about good movies. 

The all-time record belongs to a series of Kamen Rider films that I was not familiar with, so I did some research. 

Kamen Rider is a Japanese superhero appearing in tv shows and films. Kind of an older brother of the Power Rangers. 

According to the Wikipedias, there are 90 films in this series!

We’re not close to that with today’s Friday the 13th series, thank goodness! But we do have 12 to rank “Worst to Best!”

I’m glad I tackled this project because I hadn’t seen nine of the twelve, which surprised me. 

Now I can say that I’ve seen them all. 

For what it’s worth.

Not much, I’m afraid.

Let’s get started.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

R/100 m/IMDb: 4.5

Film #8/Body Count: 20/Final Girl: Rennie

🩸Jason is "accidently awakened" from his watery grave to murder a lot of high school kids on a boat? That’s the plot? Yes. I have that right.

🪓Who are these teens on a private boat? And the DJ on the radio conveniently talks about Camp Crystal Lake! Aren't they in NYC?

🩸The boat’s anchor cuts an electrical wire bringing the big guy back to life. They show the camp AND New York City. Where are these kids and this boat?

🪓The ship hosting the Senior Class Cruise is called the Lazarus. Hardy har har. The captain is an asshole who appears to be pushing his son (one of the seniors) into captaincy. There's also a rock video being recorded on board? What? Why? It’s never addressed.

🩸Heavy metal girl from that rock band is killed with her own guitar. Decent kill there but unclear why Jason killed her. She wasn’t covering a Nickelback song. 

🪓There's a biology project due during the cruise?! What kind of asshole does that? Full disclosure, I once gave a test on the bus on the way to a field trip, so I’m quite possibly that asshole. 

🩸Doesn't the rotted corpse of Jason smell? He's been in the water for a while. Can't they smell him coming? 

🪓Jason harpoons the first mate and slits the captain's throat. When the hell is the taking of Manhattan taking place? The ship sinks. I must have missed that part. They go by lifeboat to NYC. Does Jason swim alongside? Is he hanging onto the boat?

🩸Jason prevented a rape, so that was a good deed. Just one more reason to root for him. Send him after all the rapists. Works for me. 

 🪓Jason was just shot six times, and now another guy decides to box him? Jason punches his head CLEAN OFF!!! I cheered that kill.

🩸Obnoxious uncle drowned in alley barrel. Final Girl Rennie looks stunning for what she's been through. 

🪓Jason on the subway! Jason gets third railed, but he gets up. They show Times Square, a seedy diner, alleys, but not nearly enough people around for this to pass as New York City.

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

R/87 m/IMDb: 4.1

Film #9/Body Count: 24/Final Girl: Jessica

🪓The Final Girl is wearing a Mets hat! Or is she victim #1? She got naked, so I'm guessing Vic 1. Surprise! She was a decoy. She’s a cop. It was a Jason ambush!

🩸Jason's head comes off, his heart flies out and lands on the ground, still beating. The flaming title opening credit does NOT explode! Jason's heart is still beating on the autopsy table. I don't get this supernatural thing. The coroner EATS the heart and becomes possessed by Jason. What?

🪓Dumb ass kids take a cab to Camp Crystal Lake and joke about "Smoking a little dope, having premarital sex, and getting slaughtered." Guy refers to his penis as "Tony the Wonder Llama" earning this film an automatic bomb. 

🩸They dragged Erin Gray into this?! 

🪓Wait, he's supernatural and immortal, but a relative can kill him? Just how many people are being possessed by Jason? This really is terrible. Jason is stabbed by a family member in the chest, things come out of the ground, Jason sinks into the ground. 

🩸Movie ends with the hockey mask on the dirt, Freddy's hand comes out of the ground, grabs the mask, and drags it under. Aren't they one movie early with that teaser? This is #9, Freddy vs. Jason is #11! They ARE early! I read that a script couldn't be finalized in time, so they made Jason X instead.

🪓And Jason X is actually next up on the chopping block! Well deserved, I may add. 

Jason X (2001)

R/92 m/IMDb: 4.4

Film #10/Body Count: 25/Final Girl: None?!

🩸Top body count in the series with 25! So, Jason's not dead, HOW? And then a decision is made to freeze him and send him into space? That's the solution?

🪓What kind of facility is this? Don't they pay their electric bill? Everything is way too dark to do science. Evil scientist wants to study Jason because of his regenerative powers.

🩸THEY'RE OUTLAWING HOCKEY IN 2024?!!?! Attempts of predicting next year (the future) made in 2001 are hysterical. 

🪓Didn't anyone know how to write characters in action movies? Ever? They’re always so one-dimensional and stereotypical. 

🩸They're going to bring the girl frozen with Jason back to life? She’ll love that! This is so creepily sexist. The year is 2455 and men haven't evolved at all. I want Jason to kill every man on board this spaceship. ASAP. A guy is shown trying to put nipples on a female android's breasts. The movie has time for this? 

🪓Jason freezes a head and then shatters it on the counter. Kudos! 

🩸They should just jettison Jason into space, but they think they can make money off of him as well. I’ll repeat my earlier thought; Kill them all, Jason!

🪓They think they're in some kind of Aliens movie. They can't find Jason? Maybe turn on the fucking lights! Are these people scientists or soldiers? They continue to shoot Jason even though it has been established that he cannot be killed with bullets. 

🩸"He's okay! He just wanted his machete back!" Awesome. 

🪓Android blows Jason's head off and stabs him with his own machete. So, now's a good time to send him into space! They don't, and he regenerates. And he has a new mask! 

🩸"What the hell's going on?" "Jason 'Fucking' Voorhees is what's going on!" 

🪓Shuttle with survivors disengages, the space station with Jason on it blows up, Jason's intact body heads directly towards the shuttle when it's intercepted by a guy on a spacewalk. They fall back to earth and the mask lands in a lake. Any guesses which lake?

🩸I mean, I know it’s not a documentary, but…

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

R/92 m/IMDb: 4.7 - Final Girl

Film #5/Body Count: 19/Final Girl: Pam

🩸Something smashes through the logo revealing the mask. 5th movie, and they've stuck to the plain font for the credits. Boring!

🪓How does a chainsaw make no noise until a door is opened, then it's full blast?

🩸Do young women open their tops in the mirror exposing their bare breasts and say, "It's Showtime!" like Roy Scheider as Bob Fosse in All That Jazz? Do they? They do in this movie!

🪓In this one, Jason will actually be Roy - the creepy paramedic! Which means that Jason is really dead? They needed to take a stand on this issue.

🩸Porky's-esque amount of nudity, yet a ton was cut. The director was branded as a pervert. He once directed an adult film, which doesn’t necessarily make you a pervert, but he had a checkered past with the way he treated women in his films. 

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

R/91 m/IMDb: 6.0

Film #4/Body Count: 10/Final Girl: Trish

🪓This one begins with flashbacks of all three of the previous movies! I thought I was watching a trailer! It’s three minutes long! 

🩸The title is superimposed on the hockey mask which then explodes. All 12 should have stuck to this. I came to expect the explosions.

🪓A Corey Feldman sighting! A Crispin Glover sighting! 

🩸What kind of lunatic family drinks orange juice with dinner?! Unless, of course, it’s the always popular “Breakfast for Dinner!” Then all bets are off. 

🪓A girl brags about "earning her reputation in 6th grade." WTF? 

🩸Peeping Corey Feldman watching a girl undress is hysterical. 

🪓This movie isn’t scary at all, it’s actually boring. Little Corey Feldman kills Jason?! That was also hysterical. Who knew Corey Feldman was so funny?!

🩸"He's going to be just fine." Is he though? 

Friday the 13th (2009)

R/97 m/IMDb: 5.5

Film #12/Body Count: 14/Final Girl: Whitney

🪓Obligatory campfire at which the tale of the original Jason is told. This is so slow and boring. Even with topless water skiing.

🩸Add topless water skiing to the list of activities that get you killed in a Friday the 13th film.

🪓"I have a better shot at fucking a penguin than that girl." Were writers also on strike in 2009? "Your … are stupendous." "Thanks. You really know how to make a girl feel special." Did a 13-year-old boy write this script?!

🩸Sweet ax throw, Jason! You must have been to one of those bars! 

🪓"Jason, say hi to mommy in hell!” I thought that was mean. He’s stabbed in the heart. And dies?  I thought he was unkillable. 

🩸Body dumped in the lake. Ends with him bursting through the dock and grabbing the girl. Why was this made?

Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

R/95 m/IMDb: 5.6

Film #3/Body Count: 12/Final Girl: Chris

🪓The first six minutes of Part III is the last six minutes of Part II. 

🩸Title comes out of the mom’s severed head’s eyes. 1st in the series to show Jason in the hockey mask. This is in 3D for some reason, and seeing the 3D effects without the glasses is comical. 

🪓Takes place the day AFTER Part 2. I can see why I stopped watching after this one. 

🩸Can you accurately shoot a spear gun in air? Is that possible? Right in the eye hole!

🪓Machete to the shoulder in Part 2? Hatchet to the head in Part III? Jason survives this! So, III ends the same way as 2 and the original end, this time it's mom in the lake!

🩸So that's a dream, and lazy scriptwriting. 

🪓Ends with Jason in the barn with an ax in head. 

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

R/88 m/IMDb: 5.2

Film #7/Body Count: 16/Final Girl: Tina (and a boy?)

🩸The most heavily censored film in the series. It was submitted nine times before being changed from an X to an R.

 🪓It features the longest Jason appears on screen unmasked. Jason sans mask! Yikes! It also set the record for longest uninterrupted on-screen controlled burn in Hollywood history - Jason burns for 40 seconds! I imagine 40 seconds seems like an eternity when you’re on fire. 

🩸Last film in the series to rely on showing flashbacks of the other films - this one shows us scenes from four. Thank goodness they stopped that “Previously on Friday the 13th” nonsense. 

🪓Since so many of these contain flashbacks, I didn't understand the beginning of this one. Which movie was this from? I don't remember it from the first half a dozen of these! Shockingly, it was a NEW part of the story! 

🩸"Alright you big hunk of a man! Come get me!" Says a teen girl in a sleeping bag who is then dashed against a tree. Jason then goes all JAWS for a kill in the lake! 

🪓Come on Jason! He kills a good girl who didn't do anything but put on makeup to look more appealing for a boy. Is that where the bar is now?!? One scene shows three different young couples having sex. You have so many to choose from, Jason! Spare the good girl! And I usually root for you. 

🩸Tina telekinetically tosses a potted plant at Jason that contains a severed head. Not bad. 

🪓Hold on. Tina resurrects her dad who pops out of the lake and drags Jason back in? Killing him? 

🩸And there's a final girl AND boy?!?

🪓I have so many questions.

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

R/87 m/IMDb: 6.1

Film #2/Body Count: 9/Final Girl: Ginny

🩸Title doesn't break through glass, it just explodes. That has become the norm. 

🪓It’s so dumb that Jason is alive. Did he drown, or didn’t he? If they told mom, she wouldn't have gone all murdery in the first movie. Would she?

🩸This was the only film in the series for which Roger Ebert wrote a print review. He wrote, "This review will suffice for the "Friday the 13th" movie of your choice." Pretty close Roger. Thumbs up!

🪓Girl takes the guy's hat and runs away. Who started that nonsense? Who told girls to do that? Girls did that in my high school in Newburgh, New York, and I see it in movies all the time. Why, girls, why? We wear hats because we haven’t washed our hair in days. And those hats are filthy, by the way. Don’t put those on your head!

🩸Machete in the head, backwards wheelchair down the steps! Jason with a burlap sack!

🪓Kind of the same ending as the original, Except for the closeup of the severed mom head.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

R/97 m/IMDb: 5.7

Film #11/Body Count: 24/Final Girl: None?!

🪓More and more flashbacks. I thought we were done with that.

🩸Is Freddy recruiting Jason? Jason gets kill #1. Are they going to work together? Is Freddy going to be blamed?

🪓The Freddy character is really pretty good. That's next October's project, all Nightmare on Elm Street movies ranked! I’ll enlist Andrew’s help for that episode. We were big fans back in the day. 

🩸"Anything is possible! God, you just don't get it!" Or do we get it, and you're just making this shit up as you go along? 

🪓I enjoyed the "Scooby-Doo" van reference. 

🩸Freddy is toying with Jason in his dreams. We return to CCL via a dream! Freddy and Jason have some decent battles, but they obviously can’t finish each other off. Not early on, at least. 

🪓Freddy stabs Jason right in the hockey eye holes! Freddy gets beheaded! How was he around if people weren't dreaming? Oh well. I’m SURE they explained that, and I missed it. 

🩸We end with Jason walking out of the water holding Freddy's head. As he passes, Freddy's severed head winks at us.

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

R/86 m/IMDb: 6.0

Film #6/Body Count: 18/Final Girl: Megan

🪓They do a James Bond open with the credits! Jason walks by, turns, and slashes. Blood goes over the lens. This alone made it stand out from many of the previous films. 

🩸Tommy inadvertently brings Jason back to life! Come on, Tommy! You’re better than that! He then tries to burn the corpse alive, but Jason's open grave is struck by lightning, bringing him back to life.

🪓I hate when that happens. 

🩸Hey, Tony Goldwyn is in this movie! Wait. Not anymore. 

🪓Drunken cemetery caretaker "Some folks have a strange idea of entertainment." He pushes so hard on that 4th wall. Good stuff.

🩸Comic relief in these slasher movies is so out of place. Not sure why they thought they needed it. Pick a lane, don’t walk that tightrope. Few evade the pavement. 

🪓Is Camp Crystal Lake now Camp Forest Green? Not sure that would be allowed to happen.

🩸Sex in these movies is so 80s. Maybe they do all deserve to die. 

🪓A character has time to READ A BOOK about the undead in order to fight Jason.

🩸Law enforcement is woefully incompetent. Attempts to return to the original with the ending. 

🪓"It's over. It's finally over. Jason's home." Wait. People will still pay for this shit! Let it ride! Jason Under the Sea?!

🩸The producers were afraid of a PG-13 rating, so they amped up the violence. But no nudity. It’s the only film in the series to feature absolutely no nudity, even though the director pressured one of the actresses to appear topless. Of course, he did, because he was a creepy director in 1986.

That leaves us with one film left standing!

Friday the 13th (1980)

R/95 m/IMDb: 6.4 

Film #1/Body Count: 10/Final Girl: Alice

🪓I have the least to say about this movie because it’s the O.G. and it is, by leaps and bounds, the best film in the entire series. If you enjoy horror movies and have yet to see this for some reason, you definitely should. I honestly enjoyed this entire project, but when I watched this (saved it for last, of course) I was reminded of its impact on the genre and on pop culture. Jason and his mask are iconic. 

🩸That mask, by the way, is a 1970 Jacques Plante Elite FibroSport model 103 goaltender mask. Love you, Jacques! He left us in 1986 when the series was half a dozen films in. So, I’m pretty sure he was told his mask was being worn by a fictional serial killer in an American “Slasher Film” series. I’m also pretty sure his response was, “What?”

🪓And just two more tidbits about the original…

 🩸The movie was filmed at Camp No-Be-Bo-Sco in New Jersey. The camp is still in operation, and it has a wall of Friday the 13th (1980) memorabilia to honor that the movie was set there. I love that so much!

🪓In his review Gene Siskel famously called director Sean Cunningham "one of the most despicable creatures that has ever infested the film industry.”

🩸That is some hard cheese! I love the inclusion of the words creature and especially infested in Siskel’s review. 

🪓I really know nothing about Sean Cunningham other than he was the director of this movie, so I can’t vouch for him. Siskel could have been right. 

🩸That changes nothing about Friday the 13th being the best in the series that currently features 12 films. 

🪓I’ve been reading that there’s a 13th in the mix. I was promised 13 movies in this series when I was 18 years old and, by god, I will have it!

Well, that is a wrap here at Cinema Wellman as we’ve celebrated Friday the 13th with a bottom to top ranking of all 12 films in the Friday the 13th series!

We hope to see you back again next week when we will see the return of our “...and Introducing” series. 

Please join us for “...and Introducing 4: Oscar Nominees.”

I promise I won’t wear the mask.

Until then, take care.