Welcome to Camp Wellman!

 Welcome to Camp Wellman!

Hello and welcome to Cinema Wellman! Actually, today I should be welcoming you to "Camp Wellman!"

Summer is beginning to wind down and many summer camps are wrapping up so the kids can return home in order to get ready for school. 

What better time to take a look at some “Camp Movies!” We have 13 movies for you today that center around summer camp and the camp experience. 

I never attended a legit summer camp as a kid. My parents sent me to day camp one summer, or I should say they attempted to send me to day camp one summer. That did not go well. 

I have, however, visited a legit summer camp many times as a “grown up,” and that’s Camp Pinehurst in Raymond, Maine. 

Camp Pinehurst has been owned and operated by the Curtis family since being founded in 1946. It is currently being operated by my good friends Jack and Elizabeth Curtis, so a shout out to everyone at Camp Pinehurst! 

I had many a late night visit to the walk-in cooler for snacks and drinks after hours at Pinehurst, that’s for sure. 

I hope everyone at Camp Pinehurst has had a great summer. It sure looks like it from the pictures I see on the website! camppinehurstproud.com for those of you who’d like to see for yourselves. Or for those of you with children from ages 6-14 who are looking for a great camp experience next summer! It's never too early to plan. 

I’m sure my camp experience would have been totally different as a kid if I went to Camp Pinehurst. I would have loved to go to Pinehurst, and that had me thinking about attending the camps portrayed in these movies. So that’s how I’ve ranked them, and that’s how they’ll be presented. In reverse order of my desire to attend. 

Most of these are worth watching. Only one is total garbage, and I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out which one that is. 

So we’ll begin with the camp I’d least like to attend, and this one was pretty easy. 

Space Camp

Spacecamp (1986)

PG/107 m/IMDb: 5.7

NOPE!

Next up is Camp Firewood!

Okay, so I’ll share a little more about SpaceCamp. Starting with there is no way you could ever get me in a shuttle. Not a chance. I still have claustrophobic anxiety about that submersible thing!

I guess I couldn’t leave it off the list since it has camp in the title, but this isn’t really a “camp” camp. 

The story revolves around us believing that a crew of campers and one adult would be allowed on a shuttle that had the capability of launching. 

Once you get past that, it’s not so bad.

The entire mess is caused by a robot who decides to think for itself. Good thing this is a science fiction movie. I’d hate to see what would happen if we created an artificial life form that became sentient. Good thing we’re not messing around with that anymore!

The release of this film was pushed back due to the Challenger disaster on January 28, 1986. And I must admit that it’s still a little cringey seeing a shuttle in peril.

So much of the science didn’t seem possible, but it’s not like it was a documentary.

SpaceCamp is suitable for campers of all ages. It can be shown in any cabin!

Now on to Camp Firewood! 

Another camp I’d rather not attend. 

Camp Firewood

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

R/97 m/IMDb: 6.5

If you’ve ever heard anything about this movie, it’s most likely because of the cast. I doubt it was part of a discussion about classic cinema. 

The cast is impressive; Amy Poehler, Elizabeth Banks, Janeane Garofalo, Molly Shannon, Paul Rudd, David Hyde Pierce, Michael Ian Black, and in his film debut, Bradley Cooper. To this day, Cooper cannot recall being paid for his work. 

Oh, and H. Jon Benjamin (Archer, Bob’s Burgers) voices a can of mixed vegetables. 

It’s that kind of movie. 

The reason I wouldn’t want to attend this camp is the counselors. The camp itself seemed nice, but the counselors were terrible. Totally unconcerned about the safety of the campers and only interested in each other and partying. Not that I’m pointing any fingers of blame. I just wouldn’t feel safe going there.

Making out in front of the campers is just bad form. That, and dumping campers out of moving vans at deserted roadways. Questionable behavior for sure. Along with being a criminal offense.

The camp’s cook is deranged and has a thing for his refrigerator. 

This one is for older campers and counselors only. 

The next camp on our tour is one that I wouldn’t be allowed in, and yet I’d rather try to go there than Camp Firewood or SpaceCamp. 

Miss Inch’s Summer Camp for Girls

The Parent Trap (1961)

G/129 m/IMDb: 7.2

Other than not being a girl, I really couldn’t get a feel for Miss Inch’s Summer Camp for Girls because this movie didn’t really camp that much. 

I’m sure you’re familiar with the story; twin girls separated at birth by their parents (never understood that!) meet each other at a summer camp and hatch a scheme to reunite their parents. The old “Parent Trap” as it were. 

Brian Keith plays the girls’ boring father, and he’s just as stiff and lifeless as the boring father he played on the TV show “Family Affair.”

When Haley Mills (who plays the twins) is shot using the split screen effect, you’ll be reminded of how much this effect has improved over the years. In this film the effects are along the lines of “Gilligan’s Island” and “Bewitched.” 

The movie itself is pretty harmless, although I have no idea why it needed to be stretched to two hours and nine minutes!

The sequel is much better. 

I can’t believe I just said that. 

Next up a camp with solid campers, but an obnoxious owner. 

It’s Camp Hope!

Camp Hope

Heavyweights (1995)

PG/100 m/IMDb: 6.6

Camp Hope, as in I hope you never have to sit through this trash. Of all the films on this list, this is by far the worst. 

We have fart jokes, we have punches to the groin, we have more fart jokes. Maybe this is what the director thinks camp is all about.

Do all camps have to have a rival/evil camp just across the lake to torment them? What is that all about? Is that real?

Or is it just lazy filmmaking?

The PG rating for this “movie” is because of “pranks.” That itself is funnier than anything in the movie.

These “pranks” would be considered attempted murder in some states.

Ben Stiller plays the EXACT same character he played in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.  I guess nobody noticed because nobody saw this.

Watch Dodgeball again instead of this crap.

From one of the directors who brought you  Movie 43! Considered to be one of the worst of all time! Now there’s an endorsement!

Next up is the least original camp name on the list! 

Let’s all go to…

Urban Canoe Camp

Loop (2020)

PG/9 m/IMDb: 6.7

Loop is the 6th short, animated film in Pixar’s SparkShorts program, and it’s about a talkative boy and a non-verbal autistic girl who learn to understand each other on a canoe trip.

I happened upon this short film by total accident when I was looking for other camp movies on Disney+, and I’m happy I did.

I’m totally in favor of all people being positively represented in television and film projects. Having taught teenagers for 33 years, I know how important it is for young people to see themselves represented in TV shows and movies.

It’s extremely important for people, especially young people, to be able to relate to characters in the shows and movies they watch. I think it’s empowering for young people to see some of themselves in characters.

I often think of Jackie Robinson and his breaking the color barrier in major league baseball. In the blink of an eye, millions of black people saw themselves represented in a sport that had gone without them for so long. It opened the eyes of many young black athletes who thought that if Jackie could do it, so could they. 

It’s positive. It’s empowering. It’s important to self-esteem. It’s extremely beneficial in so many ways.

When you feel like you’re different, or don’t fit in, being accurately represented on a TV show or in a movie can mean the world to a youngster. 

I’m sure there were non-verbal autistic people who saw this movie and were happy to see themselves accurately portrayed. 

Madison Bandy plays Renee in Loop, and she is non-speaking and autistic.  Filmmakers brought in consultants from the Autistic Self Advocacy Network to ensure authenticity. 

A goal of the filmmakers was to help people gain a sense of the way a non-speaking autistic person might communicate their feelings differently. 

That’s fantastic, and this is a sweet movie whose heart is certainly in the right place. Loop is recommended for any and all campers!

Next there’s more animated camp fun at Camp Remote!

Camp Remote

Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown (1977)

G/76 m/IMDb: 7.2

Like every camp on this list, Camp Remote has its positives and negatives. 

The major negative is that bullies seem to run rampant all over the place. The reason for this is the total absence of adult supervision. Like any Charlie Brown cartoon worth its salt, the adults don't matter at all. That’s why they all speak in the same monotonous “Woh woh woh woh woh” voice we’re all familiar with. 

The major positive is the total absence of adult supervision. As a kid, who wouldn’t want that?!

If you enjoy the Peanuts Thanksgiving and Christmas shows, you’ll enjoy this. There’s a decent rafting sequence that doesn’t include Ned Beatty, so that’s another positive. 

This is appropriate for all campers, no matter the cabin!

I don’t remember much about Peppermint Patty, but she’s an absolute sociopath in this movie. 

That being said, Sally has the best line in the movie when she says, “I’m gonna bring down her window shade.”

Tarantino wishes he wrote that one. 

Next up is Camp Tamakwa and there’s one and only one reason to attend Camp Tamakwa.

Camp Tamakwa

Indian Summer (1993)

PG-13/97 m/IMDb: 6.5

That one reason to even go near Camp Tamakwa is the outside chance at seeing Diane Lane. 

Indian Summer is one of only two films on this camp list that features a camp, but no campers!

In the case of Indian Summer, we have all former campers played by Diane Lane, Bill Paxton, Elizabeth Perkins, Kevin Pollack, and Sam Raimi (of all people!). They are the 30 somethings who return to their childhood camp run by Alan Arkin.

The camp is in danger of closing, Arkin feels like he’s losing touch with the campers, he wants them all there to celebrate the closing, etc. 

When you take the campers out of the equation, it’s not as fun. I’m not saying this movie is bad, but only older campers and counselors would be interested.

This reminded me of The Big Chill without the suicide or good music. 

Next we head to Camp Kikakee, a.k.a. the camp that Ernest goes to!

Camp Kikakee

Ernest Goes to Camp (1987)

PG/92 m/IMDb: 5.4

Let me begin by saying that I never heard anyone say anything bad about the late Jim Varney. By all accounts he was a decent man that made a career out of playing good-hearted but dim-witted Ernest in silly family comedies.

He must have been doing something right since he starred in NINE movies as Ernest. 

Keeping all of this in mind, I cut Ernest Goes to Camp some slack. Since it’s a kids/family movie, you know there’s going to be toilet humor. What I wasn’t expecting was a Josef Mengele joke and a Lindbergh baby joke! 

One of the tropes that shows up over and over in movies set at a summer camp is how bad the food is. I once again think of Camp Pinehurst, and I can say that is NOT THE CASE there! A former cook, Vern, is immortalized with a plaque in the dining hall that features a big spoon. Vern was the best. 

Dean Wormer from Animal House (John Vernon, who also did episodes of “Cannon!”) and ex-NFL player Lyle Alzado also show up!

Dean Wormer straight up tries to murder Ernest at the end of this which was a tad shocking for a family comedy, I guess. There was a final battle that easily could have included several fatalities. Broad comedy?!

The 80’s score is as hilarious as anything in this movie. 

Ernest is harmless and appropriate for all campers, especially those who enjoy toilet humor. 

Our next stop is Camp Walden and a film for which Lindsay Lohan was given an “introducing” credit! We love those!

Camp Walden

The Parent Trap (1998)

PG/128 m/IMDb: 6.6

This remake of the 1961 original is very close when compared to the source material. The story was “updated” to the late 90s, and the split screen technology looks much better, for what it’s worth.

Dennis Quaid replaced the stiff Brian Keith, so that was a good thing. 

The movie only “camps” for 33 minutes, but Walden seems like a decent place even though they have an “Isolation Cabin” that’s used as a punishment.

To me, that looked like the best cabin, by far. 

I said this when talking about the original, and it’s true again. How on earth does this story warrant TWO HOURS and EIGHT MINUTES?!?

There’s really not that much story here. 

Other than that, it’s appropriate for all campers. 

And Lindsay Lohan’s “and introducing” credit is one of four on this list!

We have three camps left, and next up is Camp Ivanhoe.

Terrible book; hopefully the camp is better!

Camp Ivanhoe

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

PG-13/94 m/IMDb: 7.8

A summer camp run by Wes Anderson may be one of the greatest ideas in the history of ideas. 

Moonrise Kingdom is one of my favorite Wes Anderson films. In a future installment of “Director’s Corner,” we’ll be ranking Anderson's entire filmography, and we hope you’ll be back for that.

This has everything you’d expect in a Wes Anderson film; a great cast, interesting and sometimes minimalist sets, playful camera movement, a compelling story, and of course, quirky characters. More on all of those when we bring Wes into the director’s corner. Today’s focus is the camp portrayed in the movie.

This may have been a bit higher on the list had it not been for the group of psychotic campers who seem delighted by the idea of using “any means necessary” to bring back a young camper who has gone A.W.O.L. As Edward Norton says when he discovers the missing camper, “Jiminy Cricket! He’s flown the coop!” Such an Anderson line!

The missing camper has run away with his young love, and this couple (played by Kara Hayward and Jared Gilman - who both got an “introducing” credit!) is absolutely adorable in every way. One of the sweetest scenes has the two dancing lakeside in their skivvies listening to music. 

She brought her record player on the hike. Essential stuff, that wax!

Frances McDormand, Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Tilda Swinton and more join troop leader Norton as they rush to save these children who don’t need saving at all. 

This is a sweet, sweet film that will make you smile. Older campers and counselors will appreciate it more than younger campers. 

Next up is a visit to Camp Nowhere.

Camp Nowhere

Camp Nowhere (1994)

PG/96 m/IMDb: 6.0

“I can’t believe nobody is pressing charges!”

I had the same exact thought while watching Camp Nowhere!

From IMDb: “A group of junior high kids don’t want to go to summer camps chosen by their parents. They make their own adult-free camp and “hire” an ex drama teacher to help.”

The ex drama teacher is played by Christopher Lloyd who I loved as Reverend Jim in the TV show “Taxi.” Not a fan of the film series that made him a big star, though. Another example of me being a film contrarian.

An “adult-free” camp is certainly every kid’s dream, and there is a lot of teen-style debauchery as they use the money their parents paid for the real camps to “spruce up” their fake camp.

This reminded me a lot of Accepted, a Justin Long comedy about a group of kids who start their own college when they don’t get in anywhere else. 

Camp Nowhere is kind of like a camp version of Accepted in many ways. I actually liked both. This is kind of silly, and it’s totally preposterous that they got away with it for as long as they did, but it was kind of fun at times. 

This is for older campers and counselors.

I’d definitely fit in at Camp Nowhere.

And our final stop is the camp that I’d most like to attend of all of these fictional camps, and that’s Camp North Star. 

Camp North Star

Meatballs (1979)

PG/94 m/IMDb: 6.2

You had to think that this was going to be at the top of this list, right?

Meatballs came out when I was in high school and it made Camp North Star look like one of the best places on earth. A camp that has Bill Murray as a counselor?!?! Are you kidding me?!?

The counselors were sometimes neglectful, but they did care about their campers and tried to assist them with problems and difficult situations, as good counselors do. 

Murray plays “Tripper” who seems a little old to be a camp counselor, but I’ll let that slide. Tripper befriends young outcast camper Rudy (played by Chris Makepeace - and another beneficiary of an “an introducing” credit!).

Ivan Reitman directed this movie that is all about the “Wacky hijinks of counselors and campers at a less-than-average summer camp.” Thanks, IMDb.

There’s some bad behavior, but it’s camp! What do you expect! This one is for the older campers and counselors as well. 

And that’s it!

That’s a wrap from here at “Camp” Wellman, and…

What?

I forgot one?

I did, didn’t I?

Considering these were ranked in the order of which I’d like to attend, does that make this next one my first choice?

It does?

Okay.

Let’s do it. 

Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake.

Camp Crystal Lake

Friday the 13th (1980)

R/95 m/IMDb: 6.4

“Ch-ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha-ha”

Full disclosure here: I am a huge fan of the slasher genre. It started with Psycho in 1961, was continued by The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 1974 which led to the “Bloody 80’s.”

I was all in on those “Bloody 8o’s!”

I’m not going to claim that I’ve seen everything this genre had to offer in that bloody decade, but I tried my best.

Halloween, Terror Train, Nightmare on Elm Street, Prom Night, Slumber Party Massacre…the list is seemingly endless.

I hadn’t seen the original Friday the 13th in quite a while, and I’m pleased to announce that it hasn’t changed a bit!

Kevin Bacon is a lot more famous now, but this movie still has what it takes to make it a pillar of the slasher film genre. The ending is both shocking and ridiculous. It really makes no sense when you think about it, and yet there were so many more of these movies made!

As a matter of fact, I’d like to announce an October episode a little early. 

Since the 13th of October this year is a Friday, Cinema Wellman will be doing an episode ranking all 12 movies in the Friday the 13th series! As of right now, I’ve only seen three of them, so this is going to get messy.

When all of the murdering goes on, there are NO campers at the camp. Keeping that in mind, I’d have no issue attending Camp Crystal Lake. The killer is targeting counselors, not campers! I’d be in the clear!

When I was at BU I wrote a paper for one of my film classes about what has become known as the “Final Girl,” in modern horror movies. 

I wrote that paper in 1983, and yet Carol J. Clover in her 1992 book “Men, Women, and Chainsaws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film” gets all the credit for coming up with the concept. Oh well.

In the “Final Girl” scenario, only the virgins will survive. If you engage in premarital sex, drink alcohol, or smoke pot, you are dead meat.

It’s just the way it works in these movies. 

All of these movies. 

This one is obviously for older campers and counselors only. Hard to believe this was all inspired by Meatballs!

More on the Friday the 13th series this fall. 

NOW that’s a wrap from here at “Camp Wellman!”

Thanks once again for joining us here on YouTube or Spotify, and thanks to those of you who consume the blog at cinemawellman.com

We certainly appreciate you making time to join us each week here in the cozy confines of Cinema Wellman.

Join us next week as Cinema Wellman takes on the American Film Institute! THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID!

“Cinema Wellman vs. The AFI” next week!

Until then, take care.