Cinema Wellman:
September Screenings
Total Films Screened in September: 72
Current 2022 Total: 658
Current All-Time Total: 7,775
Race to #10,000: 2,225 to go!
All 72 titles screened in September:
The Bottom 5
September was kind of an odd month when it came to the bombs. The oddity was that there were only five 💣💣💣💣💣 movies that earned that “distinction” this month. It’s usually more than that, so I guess I had a decent movie month! Here are those five and a brief explanation of why they’re here. Most are to be avoided at all costs.
#5: Cell (2016)
I have now seen 41 films that have been adapted from works of Stephen King. This was number 39. That’s about the only positive thing I have to say about Cell.
An unexplained signal turns everyone on their cell phone at the time into mindless zombies who then go on an apocalyptic murder spree. You’d think that would be entertaining, but it’s not.
It’s really just another zombie movie, and not a good one at that. There are all the usual tropes including the old “approaching someone from behind thinking they’re okay only to have them turn and reveal that they’re a zombie” chestnut.
There’s also the awful cliche of reuniting with a family member hundreds of miles away without the benefit of any communication during a global catastrophe. Can we stop with that?
John Cusack wanders around through half of this wearing a black ski cap tightly pulled down over his head. Maybe he was trying to hide the fact that he was in this movie.
#4: Moonfall (2022)
Director Roland Emmerich has made a career out of destroying the earth. He’s to blame for Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow (talk about a ridiculous family reunion!), White House Down and Independence Day: Resurgence.
If you watch one of his movies, you know what you’re going to get. I knew what I was going to get, and I got it. So this one is on me.
If it’s not a comet, it’s an asteroid. If it’s not an asteroid, it’s a meteor. If it’s not a meteor, something’s up with the moon. Here’s what IMDb has to say: “A mysterious force knocks the moon from its orbit and sends it hurtling on a collision course toward earth.” So in this one, something’s up with the moon.
Now I enjoy science fiction. I like it a lot. And I realize it’s called “science fiction” and not “science fact.'' BUT…can we have some real science sprinkled in at some point during these movies?!?!? Make at least some aspects of it possible or even believable? Just a little?
There were some parts of this that were so preposterous I couldn’t get past them. And Patrick Wilson is in it and I hate Patrick Wilson. You know why I hate Patrick Wilson? Two words. Hard Candy. I know it was a movie and I know he was playing a part, but….nope!
#3: Burn! (1969)
Why oh why do we have so many movies about COLONIZATION!!!!! What was going on in the late 60s and early to mid 70s and colonization movies?! Was it something to be celebrated 60 years ago?!
The only reason I watched this is because it was on my list of cult movies that I’ve been going through. I knew I was going to hate it going in because Marlon Brando is in it (he’s awful!) and, you know, the colonization bit.
I honestly can’t think of one reason why anyone would want to watch this.
#2: The Last Tycoon (1976)
Something else too many movies were made about (and very few good ones) is moviemaking. Boy, does Hollywood love to pat themselves on the back while trying to tell us that what they do is way more important than it actually is.
This was nominated for an Oscar for its art direction-set decoration, and I’m a fan. I love that and pay attention to it. Unfortunately everything else in this is bloated and overdone.
Talented writer, good director, more than capable cast and…trash. It happens.
#1: Maximum Overdrive (1986)
Coming up at the end of the month is our first Halloween episode and we’ll be taking a look at the Top 10/Bottom 5 Movies adapted from the works of Stephen King.
I have a strong feeling that this is going to end up on that Bottom 5 list as well, so I won’t say too much here other than I was rooting for all of the machines while I was watching this.
This was actually directed by Stephen King himself. When asked why he hasn’t directed a movie since, his reply was, “Just watch Maximum Overdrive.”
More on this mess later. Let’s move on to the TOP movies screened in September!
The Top 10
There were a total of 34 films in September that earned the 👍 in my database. As usual, I have done my best to narrow them down. Here are the ten I considered the best or most interesting. Maybe worth a view if they sound good to you. The platforms for all films, as always, are listed at the end of this post.
We’ll start with a Christmas movie! A Christmas movie?! Yes, a Christmas movie!! 🎄
#10: El Camino Christmas (2017)
I stumbled across this quirky little bit of business while I was looking through Netflix for stuff to add to my neverending list.
I saw the poster, looked it up on IMDb, saw a rather confusing synopsis, and decided to give it a shot anyway. Mostly because of Michelle Mylett who I love in Letterkenny. Tim Allen, Vincent D’Onofrio, Jessica Alba, Emilio Rivera, Kurtwood “Robocop” Smith, and Dax Shepard are along for the ride.
This is a silly little comedy with interesting characters. The “twist” is something you’ll see coming a mile away, but it’s not a psychological thriller, so it’s not that big of a deal. It’ll give you a few laughs and it won’t take much of your time since it’s only a scrawny 89 minutes.
#9: A Film Unfinished (2010)
During the same month I screened Leni Riefenstahl’s infamous propaganda film The Triumph of the Will, I also watched A Film Unfinished which also deals with the Nazi propaganda machine.
A Film Unfinished details propaganda films that were shot in the Warsaw Ghetto during the war. The Nazis staged scenes showing Jews in the ghetto living comfortably and eating well. This was obviously not the case. In the two and a half years the ghetto was in operation, 80,000 Jews died there. Many from starvation.
This film is chilling at times, especially when it intercuts scenes from the propaganda film with scenes of how life really was for those imprisoned in the ghetto.
If you’re a fan of WWII history, I think you’ll find this documentary very interesting. Propaganda can be such a powerful weapon.
#8: Downfall (2004)
I have to admit that there is a scene in Downfall that I had seen dozens of times. I had never seen the movie, never heard of it, when I saw a comedy bit on YouTube that features a pivotal scene in the film.
There is an extremely tense scene in the film where Hitler, played by the amazing Bruno Ganz, gets bad news about the war and goes on a tirade. You can’t take your eyes off of Ganz as he explodes in fury and lashes out at his generals. It’s a phenomenal scene.
Now, the YouTube bit has the same video and the same audio, but the subtitles have been changed. Hitler is no longer losing it over the war, he is furious because he’s a Cowboys fan and they’ve just lost to the Giants. It’s incredibly funny, and there are several versions. In one, Hitler is lamenting the breakup of the band Oasis.
Funny YouTube parodies aside, Downfall is a tremendous piece of filmmaking that shows the very end of the Third Reich. And that wasn’t pretty at all.
#7: Le Deuxième Souffle (1966)
Le Deuxième Souffle or The Second Breath is a French noir film that has a familiar plot to it. A gangster escapes jail and makes plans to get back into the crime business, but he’s pursued by a determined inspector.
Directed by the great Jean-Pierre Melville, this is a great cat and mouse noir movie that keeps the viewer on their toes throughout.
Paul Meurisse is exceptional as the police inspector, the cinematography is crisp, and the music is very French New Wave. I love heist films, and have seen a ton, but never a PLATINUM heist!
Bien fait, Monsieur Melville!
#6: Fractured (2019)
With the “expansion” of moviemaking over the past decade, there is so much content out there now that it’s sometimes hard to keep your movie head above water. I’m convinced that 85% of films made by “streamers” and other non-studio platforms today wouldn’t have been made 20 years ago. Twenty years ago, it was in the theater, or “straight to video.” Now it’s hard to keep track of what’s what.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that Fractured is not a “theater” movie. I’m not saying it’s bad at all! Heck, it’s on my Top 10 list for the month! It’s just that you can find movies everywhere these days. This one is kind of like a long episode of The Twilight Zone. It’s difficult to explain.
In any event, this was pretty cool. I’m just going to give you the IMDb synopsis and let you watch on your own if interested. “A couple stops at a gas station, where their 6 year old daughter’s arm is fractured. They hurry to a hospital. Something strange is going on there. The wife and daughter go missing.”
Hospitals are so creepy. Even when nothing strange is going on there.
#5: The Trip (2021)
With a quick check on an Interwebs translator, “I onde dager - til doden skiller oss ad,” means “In evil days - till death do us part.”
In English, this movie is titled The Trip, and it’s an absolute blast.
Once again, IMDb: “A dysfunctional couple head to a remote cabin to reconnect, but each has intentions to kill the other. Before they can carry out their plans, unexpected visitors arrive and they face greater danger.” This is a comedy, albeit a black comedy.
Friend of Cinema Wellman, Noomi Rapace, stars alongside Aksel Hennie as the couple in need of much more than a marriage counselor.
The Trip is ultra violent and pretty funny. The “unexpected visitors” are ones that you do NOT want knocking on your door. That’s for sure.
We love you, Noomi!
#4: Banksy and the Rise of Outlaw Art (2020)
I’m a big Banksy fan. I love pretty much everything about Banksy. I love the politics behind him, I love the snark. I’ve seen several documentaries about Banksy, and this was exceptional.
Much of the film deals with the fact that Bansky is still a mystery. Is it one person? Is it a team of people? I actually don’t care at all, and I’d rather not know. They also cover the recent “prank” Banksy pulled at Sotheby’s with his “Girl with Balloon” painting. As soon as the gavel came down and the painting was sold for $1.4 million, it began to shred itself. This was brilliant!
I loved this movie because I got to look at Banksy art for a couple of hours. If you’re also a Bansky person, check out this doc along with Banksy Most Wanted and Exit Through the Gift Shop (most excellent!).
Banksy also created “Dismaland” which was a pop-up art exhibit in England that was an apocalyptic theme park. Absolutely brilliant!
I wish I had a chance to visit. Looks like it would be right up my alley.
#3: Gerald’s Game (2017)
“Some Games You Play. Some You Survive.”
Based on a Stephen King novel, Gerald’s Game centers on a married couple who want to add some spice to their love life. That spice comes in the form of a trip to a remote lake house and some handcuffs.
Carla Gugino is excellent as the wife. She is handcuffed to the bed by her husband played by Bruce Greenwood. Things barely begin for them when Greenwood suffers a heart attack and dies, leaving Gugino handcuffed to the bed.
What follows is a survival story in more ways than one. It’s one of those “what would you do?” movies as you suffer along with Gugino’s Jessie as she struggles to free herself from her confinement.
The mode of storytelling is very interesting as it features an alive version of the husband and an untethered version of herself at odds with each other as they talk to Jessie. The tension builds as time goes on. There’s a hungry dog that wanders into the house, there’s something else that gets into the house, and there are things happening that really aren’t happening. There’s also a horrible abuse story in Jessie’s past that she relives as she tries to extricate herself from this harrowing situation.
This is not a relaxing watch by any means.
#2: Making Waves: The Art of Cinematic Sound (2019)
This documentary film by Midge Costin takes a look at cinematic sound. It’s an aspect of movies that many casual fans take totally for granted, yet it’s extremely complex and important to the overall final product.
There’s enough movie history (and clips) for film geeks, and there’s enough tech for the techies out there.
There are so many different aspects to cinematic sound. I loved how the filmmaker explained that sound for the movies is like an orchestra combining to create one sound. Three sections; voice, sound effects, and music, all have subsections. For example; production recording, dialogue, sound effects, ambient sound, and sound created by foley artists. All of that mixes with the music in a cohesive way, if done correctly.
It was nice to see big name directors talking about how essential quality sound is to making a film. Seeing how all these artists and technicians pull together to create the sound that goes with the images I love was a real ear opener.
#1: Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead (2015)
I’ve always felt that the “Family Tree” of comedy in the United States (at least for people my age) is firmly rooted in the National Lampoon.
The magazine was published from 1970-1998 and I picked it up as a teenager as a “hardcore” version of MAD Magazine, which I loved.
National Lampoon’s Animal House came out in 1978, when I was in 1oth grade. So Lampoon is in my wheelhouse.
This informative and entertaining documentary centers on Doug Kenney who co-founded the magazine in 1970. Kenney’s story is yet another sad story featuring brilliance combined with drug abuse ending in a mysterious death. The film deals with this darkness, but the majority of it explains how things fell into place for this cornerstone of American comedy.
Watching this was like paging through all of my old issues. I was reminded of how offbeat, odd, and dirty it could be. Be warned that the comedy in the magazine (and this film) is not for the faint of heart. It’s so cringy, and yet so hysterically funny.
This is a recreation of a magazine cover.
The original caption was “If You Don’t Buy This Magazine, We’ll Kill This Dog”
It got them in a lot of trouble!
Well, that’s the breakdown for September. Delivered to you as always, without spoilers. If you want any of these spoiled, I’d be more than happy to oblige. Just drop me an email at cinemawellman@gmail.com
Interested in watching any of these films? Here’s where I found them:
Platforms
Here are the platforms on which I screened this months selected 15
Cell - freevee
Moonfall - HBO
Burn - hoopla
The Last Tycoon - kanopy
Maximum Overdrive - Amazon Prime Rental ($)
El Camino Christmas - Netflix
A Film Unfinished - hoopla
Downfall - hoopla
Le Deuxième Souffle - Netflix
Fractured - Netflix
The Trip - Netflix
Banksy and the Rise of Outlaw Art - hoopla
Gerald’s Game - Netflix
Making Waves: The Art of Cinematic Sound - Amazon Prime
Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead - hoopla
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Coming Next Week:
A New Episode of Which Was Worse?!?!
Creep Van vs. Bus Party to Hell
Get in that van!!!
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