Cinema Wellman: June Screenings
Total Films Screened in June: 72
Current 2022 Total: 424
Current All-Time Total: 7,541
The Bottom 5
#5: Babes in Arms (1939)
If you are a frequent reader of Cinema Wellman, you know by now that if a film features a particular offensive practice of the time (white actors donning blackface) it pretty much is automatically destined to be in the Bottom 5. This film is no exception.
Disrespectful, offensive, racist, insensitive...."blackface" is ALL of these and more. The fact that it was done regularly holds no water with me. It was NEVER acceptable, it was ALWAYS offensive. People should have realized that, no matter the time.
Kudos to TCM for airing a short film after this about blackface and it's unfortunate place in Hollywood history. People who somehow don't understand why it's so wrong would certainly benefit from that short.
I hate everything about Mickey Rooney, but it broke my heart a little to see Judy Garland in blackface.
#4: Puppet Master (1989)
Usually when someone mentions animated, murderous puppets I run the other way. The only reason I watched this mess is that I was SHOCKED that I had never seen it before! One of the puppets was made to resemble actor Klaus Kinski for goodness sake! How could I have missed this?!?
The IMDb trivia section goes on and on about how the puppets were operated, and the end result is pretty poor regardless of how they did it. The puppets were terrible! Puppets are usually terrible, but these were extra terrible. Especially the one that had leeches coming out of its mouth.
#3: The Voyeurs (2021)
I have always loved a good Mystery/Suspense/Thriller. Unfortunately, The Voyeurs features none of these attributes. What we get instead is a plot line with crater like holes, a lead actor with a voice that is both distracting and unlistenable, a Porky's level of gratuitous nudity, and mind boggling decisions made by EVERYONE in this movie...this mess was destined for the Bottom 5.
I had Hannah watch this during her recent quarantine and she kept texting me things like, "Is she really going to..." "Why did she think that..." This film is filled with questions, very few of which are answered.
The ending is absolutely preposterous! Hannah also texted about that. Poor Sydney Sweeny. I hope she gets something better for her next feature. She wasn't the problem. Everything else was.
#2: The Queen's Corgi (2019)
An animated film in the BOTTOM FIVE?!?! How could that happen?! I'm not blaming Hannah for this one, but her love of corgis made me notice this in the first place. I'll share the blame since she had no idea it existed. I was the one who steered her wrong!
This is easily the most offensive animated "kids" film I have ever seen. Just terrible from the start. An animated Donald Trump didn't help. Just as awful as the real thing.
At least Hannah and I got to watch it together. Sorry for the others who had to sit through it that weren't at all responsible for its screening.
#1: Ambulance (2022)
What do the following films have in common? Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Transformers: Age of Extinction, Transformers: The Last Knight.
Jeez! I had no idea they had so many Transformer movies!!! It was a doll! A crappy action figure at best. Even one movie was too many.
In any event, the common denominator in that dumpster fire listed above is Michael Bay. I consider Bay to be the "King of Noisy Garbage." That's just what his movies are to me.
This one was so preposterous that Transformers was more believable. I can't begin to explain how ridiculous this was. Lets just say that it centered around life saving surgery being performed in an out of control speeding ambulance that is being fired upon by all sorts of law enforcement.
And this was TOTALLY on me. I understand that. It's not like I had never heard of Michael Bay and his Flaming Dumpster series. I deserved to sit through this. Nobody else made me press that start button.
The Top 10
#10: Tupac: Resurrection (2003)
I am a relatively new fan of rap/hip-hop, and I enjoy more of the "old school" artists including Eric B. and Rakim, N.W.A., and Cypress Hill. Which kind of makes it surprising that I knew little to nothing about Tupac Shakur. This excellent documentary fixed that.
This film does a wonderful job with its presentation. Most of it is in Tupac's own words through videos, audio recordings, or his writings. Especially interesting to hear were his thoughts about being shot since he survived being shot several times in 1994. He was shot and killed in 1996.
If you enjoy music documentaries, make sure you put this on a list. I'm not the only one with lists, am I?
#9: What Happened to Monday (2017)
Big fan of the dystopian future! Huge fan! When I read the description of this; "In a world where families are limited to overpopulation, a set of identical septuplets must avoid being put to a long sleep by the government and dangerous infighting while investigating the disappearance of one of their own," I was intrigued by the premise.
Noomi Rapace, you may know her as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (yikes!), plays the septuplets. Willem Dafoe is the dad and he's excellent as usual. Glenn Close is along for the ride as the sinister head of the government. That club is definitely in Ms. Close's golf bag!
It was interesting to see how this was shot since Rapace was often seen playing the seven different Settman sisters in the SAME frame! Long gone are the days of Gilligan's Island when they had the same actor in the shot playing two roles and you could almost see the line down the middle of the screen.
This was an entertaining, but not perfect, sci-fi film that has you rooting for all seven of the Settman Siblings. You go, sisters!
#8: Accidence (2018)
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I showed this to my niece and nephew last weekend. We were hanging out and I asked, "Do you guys have nine minutes to watch a Canadian short film that's essentially one shot?" The answer was a quick, "Yes!"
The entire film is a single shot of the back of an apartment building. Think Rear Window. We begin our focus on one unit, but the camera retreats and we can see the back balconies of several apartments. We can also see into many of the apartments as well as the stairwells. At one point we can see into 30 different units!
Oh, and there are crimes being committed that we're supposed to catch. Some are obvious, others are not.
Well worth nine minutes of your time.
#7: Heads I Win/Tails You Lose (1991)
On the heels of a nine minute movie comes this treat! I read about this experimental film by my old friend Richard Linklater and saw that it was all film leader. For those that aren't familiar with "film leader," it's the countdown you used to see before old filmstrips, etc. It used to be on all films shown in theaters, but you'd only see it if the projectionist made a mistake.
So I love Linklater, and I enjoy experiments when it comes to film, and I saw that it was 4:02 long. Excellent!
Audrey was visiting and I suggested this. It was pretty wild. Kind of hypnotizing at times, the original sound adding to the overall trippy-ness of it. It was on for more than four minutes when I decided to check how much was left.
I had made a mistake when looking at the run time. It wasn't 4 minutes and 2 seconds long...it was 4 HOURS and 2 MINUTES long! We shut it off soon after, but I have a personal rule that some of you are aware of. I have NEVER failed to finish watching a film that I have started. In for a penny, in for a pound.
It took me a few sittings, but I did it! Another win for Linklater in my book! I wouldn't recommend the entire film to anyone (it's a LOT!), but it's fun to watch a few minutes of. 8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...
#6: Finding Steve McQueen (2019)
This movie appealed to me on many levels. I love a heist movie, the lead character thinks of himself as Steve McQueen, the crooks are trying to steal the money in Nixon's slush fund, AND William Fichtner is in it! Check all of those boxes!
Even though this movie appears to have been made for me, I was still somewhat surprised as to how much I enjoyed it.
One of my favorite parts happened in a split second, but showed that the filmmakers did their homework. The protagonist is driving his Steve McQueen car in a very Steve McQueen way and passes a green Volkswagen bug. This little Bullitt Easter Egg was the icing on the cake for me!
#5: Breaking News in Yuba County (2021)
I am so happy that this movie poster features so many of the characters since the cast is absolutely amazing!
Allison Janney, Mila Kunis, Regina Hall, Awkwafina, Wanda Sykes, Matthew Modine, Ellen Barkin, and Juliette Lewis are all wonderful in this quirky crime comedy that says as much about the current state of the media as it does humanity.
#4: Casus Belli (2010)
Another short, this one from Greek filmmaker Yorgos Zois. Here's the blurb for it on IMDb: "People of different genders, classes, ages, nationalities are waiting in seven different queues :) creating a huge human line. Arriving at the end of the human tail, however, the countdown begins."
This needs to be seen to be understood. Zois manages to weave these different queues into one long line. The transitions from line to line were especially impressive.
Casus Belli is a Latin term meaning "casualty of war." Spot on.
#3: Influenza (2004)
You may know Bong Joon Ho as the Oscar winning director of Parasite. He also directed Okja and one of my favorite monster movies, The Host. Influenza is a short film (30 minutes) with a very unique delivery. The film is made up entirely of footage captured on closed circuit televisions and observation cameras.
It is described as a mockumentary tracing the downward spiral of an unemployed 31 year-old man. I was mesmerized following the man's increasingly violent behavior from place to place via these voyeuristic cameras.
#2: Dave Made a Maze (2017)
This movie is about a struggling artist who builds a maze/fort in his living room out of cardboard boxes from which he can't escape.
Yep. You read that right.
You don't come here to read about the latest Marvel movie or the new Jurassic Park installment...you can find that anywhere. You come here to learn about movies like this!
This was a treat. Another movie that needs to be seen, not read about. If you enjoy offbeat fantasy adventure comedies, this is for you! Is that even a genre? It is now!
#1: History of Time Travel (2014)
I hate to keep saying this, but this is another movie that you need to see to fully understand.
Talk about another odd genre...this is best described as a "fictional documentary." I love that! A true oxymoron!
This film tells the story laid out in the title. Time travel has been invented/discovered, and this documentary tells of its history.
"If you think the idea of Hitler with a nuclear weapon is terrifying, just think of Stalin with a time machine."
I loved how the props changed behind the featured speakers as the film progressed based on how history changed. It's actually changing as we watch the film! Mind blowing!
NEW FEATURE!
Since I'm writing about a bunch of movies and encouraging viewing on your part, I may as well let you know where to find them if you are so inclined. Some of these platforms are subscription, but you knew that already.
Babes in Arms - TCM
Puppet Master - TCM
The Voyeurs - Amazon Prime
The Queen's Corgi - Amazon Prime
Ambulance - Peacock
Tupac: Resurrection - Netflix
What Happened to Monday - Netflix
Accidence - Criterion Channel
Heads I Win/Tails You Lose - Criterion Channel
Finding Steve McQueen - Netflix
Breaking News in Yuba County - Amazon Prime
Casus Belli - Criterion Channel
Influenza - Criterion Channel
Dave Made a Maze - Peacock
The History of Time Travel - Amazon Prime
The podcast is closer than ever! I'm hoping to launch next month! Details to follow along with, of course, the Cinema Wellman Project's July Screenings!
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