Cinema Wellman: February Screenings
Here we go with the Top 10/Bottom 5 Lists of what I watched in February. I know it's only March 11th, but I've already seen some major garbage. Looking forward to writing about that, but first...February!
Total List of February Screenings - 71 movies
February Screenings: Bottom 5
5) Viva Knievel! (1977)
The most interesting part of this movie is that Evel Knievel, famous stuntman and notorious asshole, is NOT the worst actor in it!! With a cast featuring a non-dancing Gene Kelly (Why? Why would you do that?), supermodel/"actress" Lauren Hutton, and Red Buttons (I've said this before and I'll say it again, 'Fuck Red Buttons!'), Knievel really isn't that bad. Frank Gifford is in it playing himself, and not even that is convincing.
Leslie Neilsen and Dabney Coleman as crooked promoters/drug dealers, and a coked up Marjoe Gortner can't rescue this. If this movie were a Knievel jump, it'd be Caesar's Palace. Thanks for nothing, Irwin Allen.
Here's that Caesar's Palace jump in case you were wondering what I meant.
4) Pride & Prejudice (2005)
Can we please stop making movies based on Jane Austen's novels? While we're at it, please stop making these awful period pieces period! Unfortunately, the Academy always eats this shit up. This one got 4 nominations. Don't encourage this!
3) Beethoven's 2nd (1993)
Okay, so this was on a list of course. Absolutely no reason to watch this. Ever. I hate the movies that make my list because of being nominated for Best Original Song! It always seems to be over the opening or closing credits, and yet I had to watch all the trash in between. That's what this film has in common with Fifty Shades of Grey. But I'd rather watch this dog shit every day for a fiscal year than watch one minute of Fifty Shades of Grey again.
2) Fellini Satyricon (1969)
When I was a film student at Boston University, we were kind of told that everything the "masters" did was brilliant and groundbreaking and influential. And if we didn't understand AND love them....we weren't real film people. At the top of the "master list" were directors like Ingmar Bergman and Federico Fellini. I'd like to officially call bullshit on that. Both of those guys made tons of junk!
This was terrible on so many levels. IMDb's description; "A series of disjointed mythical tales set in first-century Rome." Disjointed and self indulgent.
Speaking of self indulgent....
1) Metropolitan (1990)
This movie is for you if you enjoy listening to rich, entitled, pretentious, hateful, young white people bitch and moan about their lot in life. I hated this so much. There were more than a few fades to black in it. During every one I'd yell, "End!!! JUST END!!! Please shut up!!! Please be finished!!!"
I texted Larry about this one. He also hated it, but he saw it in the theater when it came out. That's much more difficult than watching it at home and angry shouting at the screen every five minutes. He deserves a medal for that.
February Screenings: Top 10
10) Robin Robin (2021)
This was an adorable short film about a bird raised by mice. It has a nice, sweet message, and who doesn't love a little stop-motion animation now and then. Robin Robin is nominated for a Best Animated Short Film Oscar this year.
9) Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India (2001)
When you come up with a list, you're obligated to follow that list. At least that's what I believe. So this was a 3 hour 44 minute Indian movie that's essentially about the sport of cricket. I don't understand cricket at all, and 3:44 is a haul, but this was fantastic! IMDb lists the genres for Lagaan as "Drama/Musical/Sport." Oh, I forgot to mention that they break into song every once in a while.
The British were the bad guys, and they were quite hateable. I'm not saying I totally get cricket now, but it was a fun introduction. It's so much fun when I don't really want to see a movie and end up enjoying it. One of the reasons I try to watch "everything."
8) On My Mind (2021)
Another short, this one live action. It's nominated for a Best Live Action Short Film Oscar this year. I've always been a fan of the short story, which must be why I enjoy watching shorts so much. On My Mind is only 18 minutes long (roughly how much time Tarantino spent showing people driving in SILENCE in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) but it's 18 minutes that will stick to you for a while.
This is a Danish film about a man who goes into a bar on the most difficult day of his life and wants to sing karaoke. The bar is empty, the owner is a jerk and reluctant to even turn on the machine, the bartender is sympathetic even though she doesn't know the entire story.
Proof that an impact can be made in a very short time.
7) Attica (2021)
Another 2021 Oscar nominee, this one for Best Documentary Feature. I was nine years old when this event occurred in the very state in which I lived. At 9, I didn't know exactly what was happening, but I did know that something of importance was happening.
So many mistakes were made, so many situations mishandled. It was fascinating to hear prisoners recount their experiences of what went down 50 years later. I blame the politicians and bureaucrats from what happened, but I usually do.
6) Trumbo (2007)
Another documentary! This one about screenwriter Dalton Trumbo who was blacklisted after refusing to name names to Congress during the House Un-American Activities Committee. He ended up winning two Academy Awards under assumed names. He watched at home with his family while fictional screenwriters were awarded his Oscars!
5) Spencer (2021)
Let me begin by stating my absolute hatred for the Royal Family. I won't go into it, but I loathe them and everything they stand for. Good for Prince whoever and his actress wife who left! What a horrible way to live!
I thought Kristen Stewart did a tremendous job of portraying Diana. That poor woman was living a hellish existence. Such a sad, sad story.
4) The Hand of God (2021)
This Italian drama is nominated for a Best International Feature Film Oscar this year. It's about a young soccer fan/would be filmmaker growing up in 1980s Naples. It's kind of an autobiographical story about the director's upbringing. He has stated that, "almost everything is true," in this film. Those are always fun.
3) The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2021)
Jessica Chastain was absolutely amazing in this film that does the almost impossible, for me, and that's make Tammy Faye Bakker a person I feel sympathy for. I wouldn't be surprised if Chastain won a Best Actress award at the Oscars in a couple of weeks. I've now seen her in a few things that I really liked (Molly's Game, Miss Sloane), and will now look for her in the future.
2) Four Good Days (2020)
Movies about alcohol and drug addiction are not meant to be easy to watch, and this film is certainly not easy to watch. Both Mila Kunis and Glenn Close do exceptional work here. Kunis is desperate to give rehab a 14th try, and the toll it has taken on her and her mother is what drives this movie. It always makes me angry to hear people argue that addiction isn't a disease. I have a list of movies for those people to watch, and now Four Good Days is on that list.
1) Nightmare Alley (2021)
I am a huge fan of Edmund Goulding's 1947 film version of William Lindsay Gresham's 1946 novel. When I heard that this was being remade, I was skeptical, to say the least. Especially when I found out that Bradley Cooper was to play Stanton Carlisle. Not a Cooper fan at all. Then I read that Cate Blanchett was attached and one of my favorite directors, Guillermo del Toro, was set to direct, I was all in.
To properly celebrate the work, I decided to read the novel for the first time. The day I finished the novel, I rewatched the 1947 version with Tyrone Power, and then capped it all off by watching the 2021 version.
I love both film versions, but, as usual, the book was better! Gresham creates such a skeevy, dismal atmosphere in the novel that is difficult to recreate on the screen. That carny life is a hard, hard life.
More from Cinema Wellman next month!
No comments:
Post a Comment